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麦之王(外两首) Previous  [1][2][3]4
白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 13:55:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

你说的是。主要是文本说话吧,不好的东西,就是冠上李白的名,人们也懒得读 Very Happy
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四毛
童生


Joined: 14 Mar 2013
Posts: 53
Location: 中国贵州
四毛Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 17:42:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

大气 通彻 学习了。 Very Happy
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吴端择
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Joined: 15 Jan 2009
Posts: 57
Location: 郑州
吴端择Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 19:14:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

海子,是太现代了,才不合于众,如果活在当下,不知会怎样?
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爱情不是钟摆。
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风墙
秀才


Joined: 11 Feb 2013
Posts: 126
Location: 中国安徽
风墙Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 19:54:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

耐品!学习!
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墙漏风了
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 21:00:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢四毛,吴端择,风墙的点评
海子于个人意象,算是诗人的代名词吧,以点及面。
最近读了冲浪的诗评,想起三月是海子的忌日,翻出这首旧作,算是对诗人的缅怀。

http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=40156
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=40152
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远狼
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Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
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PostPosted: 2013-03-16 21:43:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

有些地方节奏急了点,似乎。

喜欢第二首
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诗书短文章,潦草乃为狂。
管他载道否,吾趣吾自张。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 22:15:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

远狼 wrote:
有些地方节奏急了点,似乎。

喜欢第二首


谢谢远狼君的直言,自己也有同感呢。不过不想改了,时过境迁,再改已找不到写作时的感觉。再说我不是很喜欢这首诗歌的写作技巧,比较直白的真实心绪而已,如果我告诉你后两首诗歌不过是我给诗友对第一首诗歌评论的回帖,你或许不信,但这是事实 Razz
当时不知那位朋友送我一块大金牌,与我,权当黄牌警告吧。好在我一直对这玩意儿没兴趣,压力不大 Very Happy Very Happy
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一无
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Joined: 20 Mar 2013
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Location: 中国
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PostPosted: 2013-03-25 09:03:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏。学习。
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名心退尽道心生,如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足,好诗不过近人情。

———清 张问陶



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远狼
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Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-25 16:50:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
远狼 wrote:
有些地方节奏急了点,似乎。

喜欢第二首


谢谢远狼君的直言,自己也有同感呢。不过不想改了,时过境迁,再改已找不到写作时的感觉。再说我不是很喜欢这首诗歌的写作技巧,比较直白的真实心绪而已,如果我告诉你后两首诗歌不过是我给诗友对第一首诗歌评论的回帖,你或许不信,但这是事实 Razz
...
这三首足够有一块金牌!写诗就是这样有时候你改一个字可以升华整首,有时候改来改去反而面目全非,我自从学诗这三四年来深有这样的苦顿!你说有两首本是回诗友的评论我也相信,因为我自己就经常干这样的事情,有时是回复评论,有时是读诗的时候准备写个帖子,总之写着写着就不能好好说话了,反而诗意溢出,便索性罢了,却成一首。在北美枫也已经干过几次这样的事儿呢!呵呵
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诗书短文章,潦草乃为狂。
管他载道否,吾趣吾自张。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9
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唐刚
童生


Joined: 19 Apr 2013
Posts: 89
Location: 中国重庆
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PostPosted: 2013-04-24 10:03:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

举起那根

血红的手指

在商标上珍重的写下, 这里

葬着

我的恋人



好诗,欣赏!
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诗,是人类精神最后一片净土。
诗,是人类灵魂最后的栖息地。
认为:只有诗才能够拯救灵魂。
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水弦
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Joined: 26 Mar 2013
Posts: 293
Location: 中国辽宁灯塔
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PostPosted: 2013-04-24 13:09:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

含蓄 有力 深沉
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诗意生存
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2013-04-25 19:27:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好一无,水弦,唐刚,谢谢你们的鼓励
问好远狼,回帖临屏为诗,说明你找到了难得的共鸣。羡慕
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江南雨
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Joined: 03 Jul 2009
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Location: 中国陕西省
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PostPosted: 2013-05-02 16:12:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏,学习,问好.
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陕西姜华
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图书拥百城
童生


Joined: 28 Feb 2013
Posts: 23
Location: 中国湖南
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PostPosted: 2013-05-05 10:06:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好,欣赏
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