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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

麦之王(外两首)

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白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 13:55:02 Post subject:

你说的是。主要是文本说话吧，不好的东西，就是冠上李白的名，人们也懒得读

四毛
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2013
Posts: 53
Location: 中国贵州
四毛Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 17:42:57 Post subject:

大气通彻学习了。

吴端择
童生

Joined: 15 Jan 2009
Posts: 57
Location: 郑州
吴端择Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 19:14:47 Post subject:

海子，是太现代了，才不合于众，如果活在当下，不知会怎样？ _________________ 爱情不是钟摆。

风墙
秀才

Joined: 11 Feb 2013
Posts: 126
Location: 中国安徽
风墙Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 19:54:34 Post subject:

耐品！学习！ _________________ 墙漏风了

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 21:00:01 Post subject:

谢谢四毛，吴端择，风墙的点评海子于个人意象，算是诗人的代名词吧，以点及面。最近读了冲浪的诗评，想起三月是海子的忌日，翻出这首旧作，算是对诗人的缅怀。 http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=40156 http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=40152

远狼
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Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 21:43:54 Post subject:

有些地方节奏急了点，似乎。喜欢第二首 _________________ __________________________ 诗书短文章，潦草乃为狂。管他载道否，吾趣吾自张。 http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 22:15:21 Post subject:

远狼 wrote:

有些地方节奏急了点，似乎。

喜欢第二首

谢谢远狼君的直言，自己也有同感呢。不过不想改了，时过境迁，再改已找不到写作时的感觉。再说我不是很喜欢这首诗歌的写作技巧，比较直白的真实心绪而已，如果我告诉你后两首诗歌不过是我给诗友对第一首诗歌评论的回帖，你或许不信，但这是事实 Razz

当时不知那位朋友送我一块大金牌，与我，权当黄牌警告吧。好在我一直对这玩意儿没兴趣，压力不大 Very Happy

一无
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Joined: 20 Mar 2013
Posts: 576
Location: 中国
一无Collection

Posted: 2013-03-25 09:03:42 Post subject:

欣赏。学习。 _________________ 名心退尽道心生，如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足，好诗不过近人情。 ———清张问陶 http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397

远狼
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Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection

Posted: 2013-03-25 16:50:26 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

远狼 wrote:

有些地方节奏急了点，似乎。

喜欢第二首

...

这三首足够有一块金牌！写诗就是这样有时候你改一个字可以升华整首，有时候改来改去反而面目全非，我自从学诗这三四年来深有这样的苦顿！你说有两首本是回诗友的评论我也相信，因为我自己就经常干这样的事情，有时是回复评论，有时是读诗的时候准备写个帖子，总之写着写着就不能好好说话了，反而诗意溢出，便索性罢了，却成一首。在北美枫也已经干过几次这样的事儿呢！呵呵
_________________
__________________________
诗书短文章，潦草乃为狂。
管他载道否，吾趣吾自张。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9

唐刚
童生

Joined: 19 Apr 2013
Posts: 89
Location: 中国重庆
唐刚Collection

Posted: 2013-04-24 10:03:11 Post subject:

举起那根血红的手指在商标上珍重的写下, 这里葬着我的恋人好诗,欣赏! _________________ 诗，是人类精神最后一片净土。诗，是人类灵魂最后的栖息地。认为：只有诗才能够拯救灵魂。

水弦
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Joined: 26 Mar 2013
Posts: 293
Location: 中国辽宁灯塔
水弦Collection

Posted: 2013-04-24 13:09:35 Post subject:

含蓄有力深沉 _________________ 诗意生存

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2013-04-25 19:27:17 Post subject:

问好一无，水弦，唐刚，谢谢你们的鼓励问好远狼，回帖临屏为诗，说明你找到了难得的共鸣。羡慕

江南雨
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Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 627
Location: 中国陕西省
江南雨Collection

Posted: 2013-05-02 16:12:49 Post subject:

欣赏，学习，问好. _________________ 陕西姜华

图书拥百城
童生

Joined: 28 Feb 2013
Posts: 23
Location: 中国湖南
图书拥百城Collection

Posted: 2013-05-05 10:06:48 Post subject:

问好，欣赏

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