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等你不来
岷江一苇
童生


Joined: 02 Feb 2013
Posts: 87
Location: 中国四川犍为
岷江一苇Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-09 21:06:21    Post subject: 等你不来 Reply with quote

慵懒午后,等你不来
我慢慢地,一粒一粒
解开钮扣,褪去衣衫
欲洗去心中纠结

出浴的我,若梨花一枝春带雨
每一寸肌肤都凝脂般鲜嫩
每一个毛孔都吐气如兰
散发出自醉的幽馨
一览众山小的双峰
渴盼着你的攀爬
老到.熟稔的揉躏
平坦的腹部已伸展如大草原
期盼你尽情驰骋或信马由缰
而那一泓草木掩隐的深涧
正春潮激荡
吞吐着山岚般的雾瘴......

慵懒午后,等你不来
我揽镜自赏,万般风情
如欲出墙的红杏
脖子伸了又伸,却功亏一仞
又似宋朝一搔首弄姿的青楼女子
羞于被窗帘外的太阳窥视
在李清照的一厥词里
熊熊燃烧,玩火自焚......
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2013-03-10 07:48:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

熊熊燃烧

Wink
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-10 10:43:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

出浴的自己,须从镜子里看,才会产生你这样的客观描写。梨花一枝春带雨
——很陈旧的。哈哈,个人的感觉。
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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岷江一苇
童生


Joined: 02 Feb 2013
Posts: 87
Location: 中国四川犍为
岷江一苇Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-10 12:53:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢阅读并指教!
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猎火
童生


Joined: 28 Feb 2013
Posts: 22
Location: 辽宁
猎火Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-11 11:07:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

写诗取材立意的角度很别致,学习。
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岷江一苇
童生


Joined: 02 Feb 2013
Posts: 87
Location: 中国四川犍为
岷江一苇Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-11 12:59:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢欣赏!相互学习。
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