孙继廷
秀才
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 115
Location: 吉林四平
孙继廷Collection |
 Posted: 2007-04-21 22:55:36 Post subject: 临潼怀古（三首） |
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临潼怀古（三首）
一
秦皇霸主称天下
死后犹思驭兵甲
儿孙若得尚其志
刘项安能逞豪侠
二
鸿门酒冷汉西迁
灞桥独守望姬还
白云千载悠悠过
何无片纸慰潺涓
三
华清水暖意萧条
马嵬坡前香玉销
雁行不忍临灞上
唯恐哀鸣啼断桥 |
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暗香如沁
秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection |
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冰清
同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
| Posted: 2007-04-22 08:01:37 Post subject: |
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其三，章法起伏、回转，有意味。
但“水暖意萧条”，在造境上，又似经不起推敲。 |
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kokho
进士出身
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-04-22 12:55:44 Post subject: |
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拜读 学习 ；））
。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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孙继廷
秀才
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 115
Location: 吉林四平
孙继廷Collection |
| Posted: 2007-04-22 15:30:44 Post subject: |
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谢三位诗人赏读！冰清所言极是！现尚无佳句，渴望君助赐言！！
问候三位诗人！！！ |
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韩少君
进士出身
Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection |
| Posted: 2007-04-23 21:39:29 Post subject: |
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努力
_________________
靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
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孙继廷
秀才
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 115
Location: 吉林四平
孙继廷Collection |
| Posted: 2007-04-24 03:28:10 Post subject: |
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| 谢赏读,望赐教 |
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恒石
童生
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 5
恒石Collection |
| Posted: 2007-04-25 07:14:31 Post subject: |
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这几首写的就是好，我还在收藏着呢.  |
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孙继廷
秀才
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 115
Location: 吉林四平
孙继廷Collection |
| Posted: 2007-05-09 16:02:17 Post subject: |
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| 恒石看过 |
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