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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

琵琶仙•书怀

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-01 18:06:18 Post subject: 琵琶仙•书怀

琵琶仙·书怀中国辽宁·朝阳莹雪心曲轻回，问谁懂、巧指弦音声切。如梦含蓄云烟，随风伴明月。春欲到、芳荫渐绿，更增得、数行诗绝。笔下时光，经年远去，无意辞别。却还是、舒雨柳绿，旧踪迹、匆匆换时节。闲话一池浓碧，看悬空絮叠。倾百遍、襟怀浅薄，荡此生、变化如雪。向晚身惹尘埃，赖人多撷。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-01 20:59:09 Post subject:

好词，以冬残春初为背景抒怀，荡拓人生历程。情景交融感人之怀。

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-02 11:23:17 Post subject:

笑聊 wrote:

好词，以冬残春初为背景抒怀，荡拓人生历程。情景交融感人之怀。

谢谢笑卿细致入微的点评！

影沉寒水
举人

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-06 19:06:17 Post subject:

问谁懂、雅弦声切？好词 _________________ 诗无涯。思在线

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-07 07:35:36 Post subject:

影沉寒水 wrote:

问谁懂、雅弦声切？

好词

谢谢

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2013-03-07 09:49:35 Post subject:

笔下时光远，莹雪无意别。向勤于笔耕的莹雪学习致敬！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-08 09:01:08 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

笔下时光远，莹雪无意别。向勤于笔耕的莹雪学习致敬！

谢谢黄老师关注和鼓励！问候您

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-03-08 09:33:17 Post subject:

词由心生

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-10 10:49:03 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

词由心生

谢谢qinghongGG
点评！

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-12 09:55:31 Post subject:

MM佳作，喜欢

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-12 10:13:10 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

MM佳作，喜欢

谢谢JJ点评！

一无
秀才

Joined: 20 Mar 2013
Posts: 576
Location: 中国
一无Collection

Posted: 2013-03-24 10:43:31 Post subject:

“身惹尘埃，赖人多撷”。赞。此怀静悠。拜读。 _________________ 名心退尽道心生，如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足，好诗不过近人情。 ———清张问陶 http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397

一无
秀才

Joined: 20 Mar 2013
Posts: 576
Location: 中国
一无Collection

Posted: 2013-04-05 10:01:25 Post subject:

一无 wrote:

“身惹尘埃，赖人多撷”。赞。

此怀静悠。拜读。

再读之。似春初到。
_________________
名心退尽道心生，如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足，好诗不过近人情。

———清张问陶

http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2013-04-05 10:46:39 Post subject:

心曲轻回，巧指弦音。欣赏！ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-04-08 07:49:24 Post subject:

一无 wrote:

“身惹尘埃，赖人多撷”。赞。

此怀静悠。拜读。

谢谢关注与点评！问好。

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-04-08 07:51:27 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

心曲轻回，巧指弦音。欣赏！

谢谢关注！问好

秋叶
秀才

Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

秋叶Collection

Posted: 2013-04-08 12:29:37 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

琵琶仙·书怀
中国辽宁·朝阳莹雪

心曲轻回，问谁懂、巧指弦音声切。
...

入声韵用得好，确实好词，尤其是用旧声韵读来，满腔热情，如泣如诉。

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-04-10 14:36:42 Post subject:

秋叶 wrote:

莹雪 wrote:

琵琶仙·书怀
中国辽宁·朝阳莹雪

心曲轻回，问谁懂、巧指弦音声切。
...

入声韵用得好，确实好词，尤其是用旧声韵读来，满腔热情，如泣如诉。

您好，谢谢的细致点评！我继续努力吧。

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