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碎片
湖南桑儿
童生


Joined: 28 Feb 2013
Posts: 4

湖南桑儿Collection
PostPosted: 2013-02-28 14:28:14    Post subject: 碎片 Reply with quote

尘世的图腾
梦里的落花
那些被膜拜的爱情
无关 唐宋的繁华

烟雨的江南
七彩的晚霞
拂过柳丝的油纸伞
撑开 旷世的神话


天长地久的诺言
指间的流沙
潮来潮往
卷走 记忆的残渣

哼哼走调的歌
看看幸福的戏码
那些永不分离
早已 远隔天涯
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-02-28 17:28:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

那些被膜拜的爱情
无关 唐宋的繁华

——学习!!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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风动
秀才


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-02 11:28:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

“烟雨的江南
七彩的晚霞
拂过柳丝的油纸伞
撑开 旷世的神话”

-富有韵味。欣赏。
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远狼
秀才


Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-02 18:56:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

有些过于注重形式了,比如无关唐宋的繁华与早已远隔天涯两行放一起张力更大
_________________
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诗书短文章,潦草乃为狂。
管他载道否,吾趣吾自张。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9
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