笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-23 19:41:59 Post subject: 中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐 |
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中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐
文/笑聊 以此旧作祝师友们圣诞快乐!
冥思苦想肠愁,(韵)度曲填词醉酒。(韵)今宵圣诞平安寿,(韵)欢舞同歌聚友。(韵)
要做自我检讨,没有老师的指导有方,我不会有这么深刻的理解,谢谢老师指点有方。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2012-12-23 21:24:24 Post subject: |
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谢谢笑聊兄!也祝师友们圣诞快乐! |
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李盈枝 状元
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Joined: 28 Nov 2009 Posts: 5987 Location: 中国山东 李盈枝Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-23 21:37:18 Post subject: |
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Merry Christmas Eve Mary,Hope you have a iovely christmas! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-24 08:57:27 Post subject: |
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qinghongh wrote: |
谢谢笑聊兄!也祝师友们圣诞快乐! |
庆宏兄节日快乐! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-24 08:58:14 Post subject: |
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李盈枝 wrote: |
Merry Christmas Eve Mary,Hope you have a iovely christmas! |
问好老师!
快乐平安圣诞节,
开心幸福祝天天。 |
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黄洋界 探花
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-25 05:10:12 Post subject: |
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喜读笑聊兄畅游宝岛诗篇,祝兄圣诞快乐! _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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李盈枝 状元
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Joined: 28 Nov 2009 Posts: 5987 Location: 中国山东 李盈枝Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-25 10:09:40 Post subject: |
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[quote="笑聊"]中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐
...[/quote]
【醉高歌】小令兼用。又名[最高楼]。亦入[正宫]。与词调[西江月]近似。
×平×仄平平(韵),×仄平平去上(韵,可平)。×平×仄平平厶(韵),×仄平平去上(韵,可平)。
【中吕】醉高歌•圣诞同乐(笑聊)
冥思苦想肠愁,(韵)度曲填词醉酒。(韵)
今宵圣诞平安夜,欢舞同歌聚友。(韵)
论格律,词比诗严,而曲又比词严。短短25字,比写首七绝要难得多。很喜欢这首小令。若改为“愁肠”,在字面上与“醉酒”对仗,不知可否? |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-25 19:29:12 Post subject: |
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黄洋界 wrote: |
喜读笑聊兄畅游宝岛诗篇,祝兄圣诞快乐! |
问好黄老师!同乐! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-25 19:37:27 Post subject: |
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[quote="李盈枝"]
笑聊 wrote: |
中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐
...[/quote]
【醉高歌】小令兼用。又名[最高楼]。亦入[正宫]。与词调[西江月]近似。
×平×仄平平(韵),×仄平平去上(韵,可平)。×平×仄平平厶(韵),×仄平平去上(韵,可平)。
【中吕】醉高歌•圣诞同乐(笑聊)
冥思苦想肠愁,(韵)度曲填词醉酒。(韵)
今宵圣诞平安寿,(韵)欢舞同歌聚友。(韵)
论格律,词比诗严,而曲又比词严。短短25字,比写首七绝要难得多。很喜欢这首小令。若改为“愁肠”,在字面上与“醉酒”对仗,不知可否? |
问好老师!您老是此中高手,按我的理解,那是不可以换位的,愁刚好是韵脚。如换位成愁肠(肠,下平七阳)和上平十一尤、上声二十五有、去声二十六宥不是同部韵,故而不能换位。还要自我检讨,以为可以冒充一下那个“夜”字,应该是韵部,好,我改来:今宵圣诞平安寿。
这里要谢谢老师指导有方! |
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李盈枝 状元
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Joined: 28 Nov 2009 Posts: 5987 Location: 中国山东 李盈枝Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-26 10:03:20 Post subject: |
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[quote="笑聊"]
李盈枝 wrote: |
笑聊 wrote: |
中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐
...[/quote]
【醉高歌】小令兼用。又名[最高楼]。亦入[正宫]。与词调[西江月]近似。
×平×仄平平(韵),×仄平平去上(韵,可平)。×平×仄平平厶(韵),×仄平平去上(韵,可平)。
【中吕】醉高歌•圣诞同乐(笑聊)
冥思苦想肠愁,(韵)度曲填词醉酒。(韵)
今宵圣诞平安寿,(韵)欢舞同歌聚友。(韵)
论格律,词比诗严,而曲又比词严。短短25字,比写首七绝要难得多。很喜欢这首小令。若改为“愁肠”,在字面上与“醉酒”对仗,不知可否? |
问好老师!您老是此中高手,按我的理解,那是不可以换位的,愁刚好是韵脚。如换位成愁肠(肠,下平七阳)和上平十一尤、上声二十五有、去声二十六宥不是同部韵,故而不能换位。还要自我检讨,以为可以冒充一下那个“夜”字,应该是韵部,好,我改来:今宵圣诞平安寿。
... |
哈哈,聪明一世糊涂一时。光顾了声调忘了韵脚。修改的很好。 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-12-26 18:29:11 Post subject: |
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真的要好好谢谢老师的指点。那是去年的学写之作,真如您老说的,顾了声调忘了韵脚。好惭愧哦。 |
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