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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-12-23 19:41:59 Post subject: 中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐

中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐文/笑聊以此旧作祝师友们圣诞快乐！冥思苦想肠愁，（韵）度曲填词醉酒。(韵）今宵圣诞平安寿，（韵）欢舞同歌聚友。（韵）要做自我检讨，没有老师的指导有方，我不会有这么深刻的理解，谢谢老师指点有方。

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2012-12-23 21:24:24 Post subject:

谢谢笑聊兄！也祝师友们圣诞快乐！

李盈枝
状元

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Posts: 5987
Location: 中国山东
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Posted: 2012-12-23 21:37:18 Post subject:

Merry Christmas Eve Mary,Hope you have a iovely christmas!

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-12-24 08:57:27 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

谢谢笑聊兄！也祝师友们圣诞快乐！

庆宏兄节日快乐！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-12-24 08:58:14 Post subject:

李盈枝 wrote:

Merry Christmas Eve Mary,Hope you have a iovely christmas!

问好老师！
快乐平安圣诞节，
开心幸福祝天天。

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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Posted: 2012-12-25 05:10:12 Post subject:

喜读笑聊兄畅游宝岛诗篇，祝兄圣诞快乐！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

李盈枝
状元

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Posts: 5987
Location: 中国山东
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Posted: 2012-12-25 10:09:40 Post subject:

[quote="笑聊"]中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐 ...[/quote] 【醉高歌】小令兼用。又名[最高楼]。亦入[正宫]。与词调[西江月]近似。 ×平×仄平平（韵），×仄平平去上（韵，可平）。×平×仄平平厶（韵），×仄平平去上（韵，可平）。【中吕】醉高歌•圣诞同乐（笑聊）冥思苦想肠愁，（韵）度曲填词醉酒。(韵）今宵圣诞平安夜，欢舞同歌聚友。（韵）论格律，词比诗严，而曲又比词严。短短25字，比写首七绝要难得多。很喜欢这首小令。若改为“愁肠”，在字面上与“醉酒”对仗，不知可否？

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-12-25 19:29:12 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

喜读笑聊兄畅游宝岛诗篇，祝兄圣诞快乐！

问好黄老师！同乐！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-12-25 19:37:27 Post subject:

[quote="李盈枝"]

笑聊 wrote:

中吕醉高歌-圣诞同乐
...[/quote]
【醉高歌】小令兼用。又名[最高楼]。亦入[正宫]。与词调[西江月]近似。
×平×仄平平（韵），×仄平平去上（韵，可平）。×平×仄平平厶（韵），×仄平平去上（韵，可平）。

【中吕】醉高歌•圣诞同乐（笑聊）

冥思苦想肠愁，（韵）度曲填词醉酒。(韵）
今宵圣诞平安寿，（韵）欢舞同歌聚友。（韵）

论格律，词比诗严，而曲又比词严。短短25字，比写首七绝要难得多。很喜欢这首小令。若改为“愁肠”，在字面上与“醉酒”对仗，不知可否？

问好老师！您老是此中高手，按我的理解，那是不可以换位的，愁刚好是韵脚。如换位成愁肠（肠，下平七阳）和上平十一尤、上声二十五有、去声二十六宥不是同部韵，故而不能换位。还要自我检讨，以为可以冒充一下那个“夜”字，应该是韵部，好，我改来：今宵圣诞平安寿。
这里要谢谢老师指导有方！

李盈枝
状元

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Posts: 5987
Location: 中国山东
李盈枝Collection

Posted: 2012-12-26 10:03:20 Post subject:

[quote="笑聊"]

李盈枝 wrote:

笑聊 wrote:

问好老师！您老是此中高手，按我的理解，那是不可以换位的，愁刚好是韵脚。如换位成愁肠（肠，下平七阳）和上平十一尤、上声二十五有、去声二十六宥不是同部韵，故而不能换位。还要自我检讨，以为可以冒充一下那个“夜”字，应该是韵部，好，我改来：今宵圣诞平安寿。
...

哈哈，聪明一世糊涂一时。光顾了声调忘了韵脚。修改的很好。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-12-26 18:29:11 Post subject:

真的要好好谢谢老师的指点。那是去年的学写之作，真如您老说的，顾了声调忘了韵脚。好惭愧哦。

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