Maple Review :: View topic - 七律-心宽自然（临屏依韵和白云老师《水调歌头》）

	Chinese Literature Society of North America \| Maple Review \| Immigrants in Canada \| Angel Studio \| The Driftwood Artist Society \| Ocean of Poetry \| Island of Music "HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
	FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Sign in Blogs Weblogs News Album



Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

七律-心宽自然（临屏依韵和白云老师《水调歌头》）

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-04 20:11:28 Post subject: 七律-心宽自然（临屏依韵和白云老师《水调歌头》）

问候老师！临屏依韵和一首七律-心宽自然：文/笑聊一生风尘坎坷中，艰难不畏自称疯。人前言语任调侃，心下思忖敢假公？身正黄泉何惧路，意诚礼佛恰成虹。开明豁达长阳道，四季平安诗曲同。该诗韵律有问题，现改正如下：风尘坎坷一生中，不畏艰难自称疯。言语人前凭调侃，心中思忖仿周公？黄泉何惧身正路，礼佛虔诚影透虹。豁达开明长寿道，平安四季曲诗同。再改：风尘坎坷一生中，不畏艰难自称疯。言语人前凭调侃，思维心里任由终。黄泉何惧身正路，礼佛虔诚影透虹。透字须换，请师友们指点！豁达开明长寿道，平安四季曲诗同。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-04 20:14:50 Post subject:

大气，感人

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-04 20:17:59 Post subject:

诚挚地感谢白水美誉鼓励！该诗韵律有问题，已纠正。

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2012-11-05 05:08:40 Post subject:

礼佛從賢，心寬自然 - 好心境，渡华年！学习！

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2012-11-05 06:32:40 Post subject:

笑聊兄深得白云老师内涵。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-05 18:21:19 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

礼佛從賢，心寬自然 - 好心境，渡华年！学习！
...

深谢老师鼓励！问好。

该诗韵律有问题，已纠正。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-05 18:23:00 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

笑聊兄深得白云老师内涵。

深谢庆宏兄赏读鼓励。该诗韵律已纠正。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-10 22:47:15 Post subject:

问好笑聊，感慨你的精益求精

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2012-11-12 12:00:03 Post subject:

得道者，笑聊是也！敬佩，学习！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-16 20:33:27 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

问好笑聊，感慨你的精益求精

谢谢白水鼓励！这诗有毛病，还得改。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-16 20:35:43 Post subject:

冰清 wrote:

得道者，笑聊是也！敬佩，学习！

问候冰清老师！赞誉晚辈不敢当。这诗有毛病，还得改。

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2012-11-16 20:50:26 Post subject:

笑聊兄写诗反复推敲，精益求精，值得学习。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2012-11-16 20:53:16 Post subject:

问候庆宏兄！刚回来，刚刚家里电源出故障，正修改的事跑了。只得再来。

Display posts from previous:

Emoticons





View more Emoticons

Page 1 of 1 View previous topic View next topic

Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME