笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
 Posted: 2012-09-11 20:52:21 Post subject: 绝句--无题 |
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文/笑聊
即兴打油：
关春何事惹君愁？熬苦寒梅偏出头。
劳燕纷纷齐私语：良辰美景此为由。
附：
（一）春
淡月迷朦，疏影惺忪。记东君、传信飞鸿。临风香布，依雨幽重。任漫天星、漫天雾、漫天风。
柳摇新绿，鹭翼长空。过春社、旧燕相逢：一番软语，商量难同。筑几多高、几多远、几多工？
：）））除却东君、柳绿、春社、旧燕这些与春有着表面关系的词汇，我实在看不出这小词“春的主题”在哪里，以及里面所有物象的依附关系。 |
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SLIU
秀才
Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384
SLIUCollection |
| Posted: 2012-09-12 12:32:53 Post subject: |
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| 各有各的看法，我倒是很喜欢你的词 春 夏 秋 冬 |
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和平岛
举人
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection |
| Posted: 2012-09-15 10:48:12 Post subject: |
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很有新意
_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗 |
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笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
| Posted: 2012-09-15 15:34:06 Post subject: |
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| sliu6 wrote: |
| 各有各的看法，我倒是很喜欢你的词 春 夏 秋 冬 |
谢谢江南鼓励！仁者见仁，智者见智。 |
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笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
| Posted: 2012-09-15 15:38:28 Post subject: |
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感谢岛主赏评鼓励！问好！ |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2012-09-15 20:13:16 Post subject: |
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| 回味有意思。 |
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笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
| Posted: 2012-09-16 19:35:08 Post subject: |
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谢谢庆宏兄点评鼓励！问好！ |
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莹雪
进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection |
| Posted: 2012-09-17 17:20:23 Post subject: |
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自成一体  |
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笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
| Posted: 2012-09-18 19:02:25 Post subject: |
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| 莹雪 wrote: |
| 自成一体 |
谢谢莹雪mm点评鼓励！问好。 |
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