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定 风 波
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-23 14:17:49    Post subject: 定 风 波 Reply with quote

依苏軾《沙湖遇雨》韵,赋一曲<吟啸徐行>:

. 吟 啸 徐 行 .
雪過天清雀跃声,
赋诗吟啸伴徐行。
扶杖步挪如醉马,
無怕!
逍遥洒脱渡人生。

有道古稀皆讚醒,
暉映,
西山斜照笑相迎。
举目晚霞灵彩處,
情愫,
心中红日永盛晴。
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-23 15:59:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

方离病榻今犹健,白云咏啸且徐行。
白云兄“逍遥洒脱度人生”的生活态度,在下钦佩之至!
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喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-23 17:03:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄兄,吟啸伴徐行,自在渡红尘!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-24 03:55:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄老师评论白云老师中肯。白云老师的诗词真的能让人积极向上。
临屏步和一首定风波--积极人生:

烟雨江南似泣声?恰催鸿雁队人行!俯瞰波涛如奔马,焉怕?任君游历慰平生。

竹笛悠扬吹我醒,斜映,夕阳辉照蜡梅迎。一曲阳春临耳处,寻去,平芜远近又天晴。

不及修改,错误处待修改。
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-24 17:07:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

衷心致謝笑聊步和<定风波>...〝积极人生〞!
笑聊之文笔醒目!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2012-02-24 17:53:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

回和笑聊一曲<积极人生>:

.. 积 极 人 生 ..
积 极 人 生 路 ,
逍 遥 渡 世 尘 。
隨 缘 心 自 在 ,
四 季 显 缤 纷 !
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
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Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2012-02-24 18:59:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

衷心谢谢白云老师带来积极向上的精神食粮!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2012-02-25 14:20:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,互相学习,共同迈进!
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

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PostPosted: 2012-02-26 06:46:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

读白云老师的大作,令人想起国内流行的由乔羽作词著名男中音佟铁鑫演唱歌曲《夕阳红》:

最美不过夕阳红
温馨又从容
夕阳是晚开的花
夕阳是陈年的酒
夕阳是迟到的爱
夕阳是未了的情
有多少情爱化作一片夕阳红
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2012-02-26 13:38:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

唱和俱佳, 学习了
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-26 14:55:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

庆宏,夕阳红很美!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-02-26 14:57:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝白水!
問好!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2012-02-26 19:49:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

烟雨江南似泣声?恰催鸿雁队人行!俯瞰波涛如奔马,焉怕?任君游历慰平生。

竹笛悠扬吹我醒,斜映,夕阳辉照蜡梅迎。一曲阳春临耳处,寻去,平芜远近又天晴。

修改一下,把容易产生误会的“乱找”改成:“辉照”。
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2012-02-27 08:13:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

用〝輝照〞來取代〝乱找〞,意表來得正面很多,修改得好。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: 2012-02-28 03:59:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢白云老师指正!
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