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嵩山之去嵩阳书院的路上
chenrunmin
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Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
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PostPosted: 2011-11-12 06:16:01    Post subject: 嵩山之去嵩阳书院的路上 Reply with quote

嵩山之去嵩阳书院的路上
是堆砌的技法把高山垒在前面,
布成气势巍峨横空的风景,
得意地泼上淡淡的墨汁,
在峰峦上化为散开起伏的云气。

田野中信手嵌绘着一条路,
许多莫名的茂盛从山脚走来,
上面重重点缀一红的人影,
抹上那些风的痕迹托起她衣角。

以为割清田陇上秋天的收获,
云给黛色的山帐起帷幕,
留下满心冲动的你还想着墨黄昏,
是谁卷起这幅云起出岫的风情图。
1982,9,27稿。
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骨笛
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Joined: 03 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 2011-11-12 20:38:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

起出岫的风情图
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
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PostPosted: 2011-11-14 15:37:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

回2楼
云起出岫的风情图
谢谢你的光注,问好朋友。
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-11-17 15:33:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

一個漢語較少用的句型,
掉換一下成
去嵩阳书院的嵩山路上, 一般更口語化些.
但這樣更有詩的味道, 為何? 考驗版主群了. 回;台湾诗学--吹鼓吹诗论坛,博弈发表于 : 2011-11-

18,1:16 am .
哪里,哪里。这首诗,只是有关嵩山的诗,其中之一而已。谢谢,问好,问好。 回;陈润民.


很喜歡這首,整首詩將自然景色寫成人為的水墨描繪,對我來說其中幾個動態的辭彙很靈巧。
特別喜愛「留下满心冲动的你还想着墨黄昏,/是谁卷起这幅云起出岫的风情图。」這兩句之間的連結。
回;台湾诗学--吹鼓吹诗论坛,airily2 发表于 : 2011-11-16,1:14 am .
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
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PostPosted: 2011-11-20 16:08:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

天然的风景,被词语装饰、捆绑的失去了自己的风格。浅见。
回 现代诗歌之友,喜欢圆月的人发表于: 发表于:11-11-14 21:23 .


如看一幅水墨畫,意境相當清遠。
而那一抹紅的身影,也是詩的倒影。
問好了,敬筆並祝詩安 回;台湾诗学--吹鼓吹诗论坛,希瑪 发表于 : 2011-11-13,12:58 pm .
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博弈
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PostPosted: 2011-11-20 18:09:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

嵩山之去嵩阳书院的路上

單看這一句

嵩山: 望之天工
嵩阳书院: 思之人為


嵩山自嵩山, 不在乎嵩阳书院
去嵩阳书院的是人

先觀外而內興

比起"去嵩阳书院的嵩山路上" 有味道.
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