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爱情苦胆(5首)(投稿第三期)
江晨
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 102
Location: 中国浙江
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PostPosted: 2007-04-06 05:53:53    Post subject: 爱情苦胆(5首)(投稿第三期) Reply with quote

怀念春天 

我的心灵被你控制
又被你揉碎
经历这个春天
我如一匹马
累倒在感情中心

整个季节
你感动得热泪盈眶
只有一刻
其余的日子
你没有丝毫温情
我在瑟瑟发抖中痛哭

你弥漫的气息无法摆脱
我彻夜睁大眼睛
看着自己集聚
树枝般的细节
点燃 焚烧自己

我抚摸这个春天
品尝命运凝结的果子
我累倒在感情中心
如一匹马

爱情悲剧片 

情节亲切清晰 触手可及
如记忆中葳蕤的树枝
一环紧扣一环燃烧不已
仿佛是自己的历程
感情盘根错节 深不可测

感动得哭了
或悲剧得哭了

泛滥如潮涌 感情
前无边后无岸的海呵
推我在死亡边缘滑翔
颤抖如风霜中的秋叶

看爱情悲剧片
其实是重读生命中的忧伤章节

病中 

细嚼度过的日子
微笑与花环装饰诗歌与爱情
不动声色吮吸我的血液和精神

诗歌和爱情高高在上
切割我的生命如落叶

沉醉诗歌和爱情
我病 我生 我死

最后一杯咖啡 

没有加糖
咖啡的原色是爱情原色

一段火焰
消逝眼睛深处如秋光消逝大地

紧握的杯子颤栗如心情
显现一次永不复出的记忆

最后一杯咖啡
宛如一场大雪
落满我生命的枝头
使我寒冷终身

忧伤或信仰 

我灵魂中的一些地带
抚摩如针尖阵阵涌动
生命掩没灭顶的汪洋

一种无法排遣的忧伤
是我经历的一次爱情
仿佛人类怆然情感的凝聚
构成我生命息息相关的部分

我的肉体必定毁灭
但我深爱凝铸的诗歌
如一只巨手
恒久掀起人类共鸣的波浪
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-04-06 19:56:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

总体感觉不错


我如一匹马
累倒在感情中心
马的意象是否准确?

如一只巨手
恒久掀起人类共鸣的波浪
说得过去
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江晨
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 102
Location: 中国浙江
江晨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-11 04:10:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢岛主点评
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杯中冲浪
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Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
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PostPosted: 2007-04-11 04:45:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

整体感逊色。
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江晨
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 102
Location: 中国浙江
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PostPosted: 2007-04-23 00:19:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢阅读 呵
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