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《年画》
韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-30 05:04:34    Post subject: 《年画》 Reply with quote

《年画》

——韩少君

记忆轻轻地咳了一声
墙就醒了

土坯墙、草泥墙
母亲用手拍一拍
屋子就亮堂起来

人参娃娃、鲤鱼莲花
烧火的丫鬟、秦琼卖马
就依次在墙上亮相

好日子是有个妈妈
和过去的
那些年画

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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2011-05-30 07:12:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

前面都很好,最后一节弱了一些
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唐慧
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Joined: 01 Jul 2010
Posts: 187
Location: 中国吉林
唐慧Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-30 16:46:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

童年时候的记忆又被轻轻地挑起。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-30 20:04:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

记忆轻轻地咳了一声
墙就醒了


佳句
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江南雨
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Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 627
Location: 中国陕西省
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PostPosted: 2011-06-05 18:33:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

好日子是有个妈妈
和过去的
那些年画
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2011-06-05 19:50:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏!

——祝端午节快乐!!
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晴宝儿
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Joined: 03 Jun 2008
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晴宝儿Collection
PostPosted: 2011-06-12 16:19:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

笔调轻快,亮亮的诗。
觉得岛的感受很中的,“好日子是有个妈妈”到这一脉下来都很精彩。

和过去的
那些年画

嗯和前面的神采飞扬比较起来是略有减弱。
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
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PostPosted: 2011-06-13 23:42:27    Post subject: 而写 Reply with quote

谢谢各位。
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