The forgiving wood

[博弈]

饒木


核桃鉗收緊的時候
猴子在枝子
吱吱叫

樹上
落下許多淚
而木魚游入

和尚突然開竅
放下小槌
耳朵向外大喊：
我看見‘破’了

The forgiving wood

Nutcracker tightening
chattering up and down
monkeys on the branches

Off the tree
leaves fall in
to tears
the wooden fish
swims in

The monk sud
denly comes to
stick held down

His ears shout out:
I saw it, the 'break'
The nut opens
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（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

禅诗？

[博弈]

哈哈. 不然怎麼叫"饒", 第一遍肯定不行的.
不饒不破.


自己說

若食堯, 則析木(玩析字詩解). 核桃肉像腦的組織, 堯字也像腦的組織(腦隨向下延).
核桃戴緊箍兒, 樹葉如淚, 悟空又對等木魚形上, 木字析成, 入上下大小.
木魚為聲游入葉淚成河. 尾段頭殼即木魚. 有較新的提喻, 通感隱喻修辭運用.
前晚寫了個雙語版, 則在猴與僧(monkey and monk)上著力,
亦在瘋與堅果(nut and nuts)上隱喻. 借第二語言解詩一類.
"stick held down", 也有放下堅持的隱喻.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

这类诗的读者群是谁？sureal?
不过以析字写诗倒是写出了新意，破了旧框框。不知是否知音难求？
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

喝, 博弈寫詩哪管讀者?


_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

曲高和寡。自己找乐子。
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

其實. 不高, 有進入障礙是真的, 但這障礙是過去的詩造成的, 不是我造成的.
讀詩的人心中已經有詩的拘束, 不自由了, 所以有障礙, 讀到不同的東西就難進入了.
讀者要讀每一篇詩都像是人生第一次讀詩一般, 那就容易進入想像的空間.
這個論點我以前提過. 當時即筆, 大致原則還是不離的.

[博弈]

As to English poetry, the above views coincide with professor of poetry
Michael Schmidt at U. of Glasgow, UK. I am reading some of his edited books,
good to find out some feel the same. So, I am not alone.

Extracted

"No good poem makes common sense; the essence of a good poem is
the uncommonness of the sense it makes. It is a structuring of words in which many meanings,
or meanings at many levels are enacted."

"You should open to these poems with no preconceptions and be open to enjoyment they can bring" (referring to the 20th century poetry, in the book
"The Great Modern Poets in their own words")

Going back to my old view, a poem is unique, can't be
copied, imitated, taught.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

I wish I could put your thinking cap on when writing. I mean it!

To clarify, I was not saying this poem is not good, I was saying it's not easy to understand. Maybe it is just me because I don't see other people jump in to comment, assuming the difficulty of understanding is not their problem at all.

"the uncommonness of the sense it makes" - I like it. A good poem still makes sense, but just the uncommonness of the sense. Or does a poem have to make any sense??? Still thinking...Thanks for the Extracted.

PS: Honestly, I find your explanation is more interesting to read.

PPS: Any writing that I could not come up with is unique in my eye, regardless if I like it or not.

PPPS: What is a good poem? Just an example: a first prize poem in a poetry competition judged by a so called poet with credentials is but trite, tasteless to others' eyes. That's very interesting.

End:Lao-tzu said "He who knows does not speak". Obviously, I don't know nothing.


_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

Internet somehow developed a very different view on how a poem be like,
we should once a while return to people in teachings of this practice and
critics; we can verify thoughts there, though not obligated

This poem is unique, good or bad? I don't care.

But, thanks for your comment, indeed.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

I once joined a workshop and was asked to write nonsense. I simply could not come up with anything. A loser!

I borrowed a book entitled "Poets Teaching Poets" a year ago, but haven't finished one fourth of it yet.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

其实，析字只是诗中极小的一小部分，为的是添加乐趣（正如子子枝枝也是读趣，有没有含义呢？随读者去），
这诗的内容上的特点是喻的流转(核桃，木鱼，头壳），象的交相涉。析字是汉字的特色，将这个诗法运用到别的文字是新鲜的，
需要时机的（不是每个字能作的）。带了钥匙的和尚是猴子？（monkey) 写这诗的初想并不冀望读者会由
我说的方向先切入，那个的需要一段时间。但我的回复故意回些细微不易为人注意的。大的方向，由读者自己抓。

Or ,
why do I break the words 'into' and 'suddenly'?
If one wants, one can also elaborate on fall (then why does it fall, what falls after that)
the 'in' state and the 'to' state, a fall, a sudden, a wake-up call; a stick, an awakening, etc.

e.g., fall in love
fall - pass suddenly and passively into a state of body or mind;

I ought to put a closure my self diagnosis of the poem, but this is only 佛 some who may wonder.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[William Zhou周道模]

学习两位有趣和深入的探讨、交流！春天的问候！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[博弈]

William 好，
如果熟悉Robert Frost 的那两首名诗，含 wood(s) 的，
我这英文版的则是意东方式的和诗，wood (树林，森林）的回应，
wood(s) （树林，木鱼槌）即在手中。告诉他如何破林而出。
可知如何破林而出？不妨回头细读Robert Frost诗的解析，找线索。

我有那两首诗的Robert Frost的原音，可惜这里无法贴。
（The Road Not Taken，Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening ）
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[博弈]

上网找了一下，这两个拍得不错，可以协助理解.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfkUk_bRY4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spXtePd4Whk&feature=related

当作Robert Frost诗另一种形式的欣赏吧。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[William Zhou周道模]

谢谢！他的那首名诗读过，也读过有关评论，象征、多解。网址点不开啊？
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[Lake]

刚读了一篇朋友介绍的文章，真的很好。讲的是Thomas 和 Frost 之间的友谊，其中提到 "Two Roads" (后改名为"The Road Not Taken") 对Thomas 最后从军上战场的影响。 文章提到两位对诗歌的共同看法。 有趣的是， 同一首诗歌， 作者写此的初衷，大众读者的理解以及Thomas (诗是写给他的）的解读是多么的不同。 引录几断，给有兴趣读全文的提供了一个链解 （友情提示：较长）。

...it demonstrated the qualities that Frost and Thomas had – quite independently – come to believe were essential to the making of good verse. For both men, the engine of poetry was not rhyme or even form but rhythm, and the organ by which it communicated was the listening ear as opposed to the reading eye.

, "The Road Not Taken" has been understood by some as an emblem of individual choice and self-reliance, a moral tale in which the traveller takes responsibility for – and so effects – his own destiny. But it was never intended to be read in this way by Frost, who was well aware of the playful ironies contained within it, and would warn audiences: "You have to be careful of that one; it's a tricky poem – very tricky."

To Thomas, it was not the least bit funny. It pricked at his confidence, at his sense of his own fraudulence, reminding him he was neither a true writer nor a true naturalist, cowardly in his lack of direction. And now the one man who understood his indecisiveness the most astutely – in particular, towards the war – appeared to be mocking him for it.

Frost insisted that Thomas was overreacting, and told his friend that he had failed to see that "the sigh was a mock sigh, hypocritical for the fun of the thing". But Thomas saw no such fun, and said so bluntly, adding that he doubted anyone would see the fun of the thing without Frost to guide them personally. Frost, in fact, had already discovered as much on reading the poem before a college audience, where it was "taken pretty seriously", he admitted, despite "doing my best to make it obvious by my manner that I was fooling . . . Mea culpa."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jul/29/robert-frost-edward-thomas-poetry
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins