老山 秀才
Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 319
老山Collection |
Posted: 2011-02-26 22:36:10 Post subject: 满江红•忆少年 |
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满江红•忆少年
故里巴陵,怎忘却、儿时岁月。
携学子、浪中水战,几番狂热。
童子军威旗鼓震,岳阳楼上歌声悦。
蓼烟里、垂钓岸边人,惊鱼鳖。
多少事,千言说。
天涯处,情尤切。
恋湖光潋滟,君山残雪。
苇雨江风穿短艇,鹭飞冉冉晴波越。
到如今、夜夜梦魂萦,何时歇? |
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胡恢宗 秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 564
胡恢宗Collection |
Posted: 2011-02-26 22:58:11 Post subject: |
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情真意切,感人肺腑。童年难返,童心可复。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕 林深鸟竞飞 |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2011-02-27 08:20:01 Post subject: |
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老山好詞!
童年难忘,童心尤切,〝怎忘却、兒時岁月〞! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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连南河 秀才
Joined: 30 Aug 2008 Posts: 342 Location: Toronto 连南河Collection |
Posted: 2011-02-27 11:17:46 Post subject: |
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垂钓岸边人
情尤切
恋湖光潋滟
鹭飞冉冉晴波越
何时歇? _________________ 一路雨丝一路风 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2011-02-27 12:40:33 Post subject: |
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老山不老,少年情切! _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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王君明 秀才

Joined: 03 Apr 2007 Posts: 250 Location: 甘肃天水 王君明Collection |
Posted: 2011-02-28 03:31:06 Post subject: |
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拜賞!上下兩歇拍俱得體氣、氣格,令人動容。
“君山殘雪”之“君”處,印象中當仄。一握! _________________ 虚拟网络 真实生活 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2011-03-01 02:42:55 Post subject: |
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学习欣赏并问好!
童趣童真情意切! |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2011-03-01 09:13:59 Post subject: |
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儿时岁月童真在,永留青春在心头。 |
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老山 秀才
Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 319
老山Collection |
Posted: 2011-03-03 06:45:19 Post subject: |
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问好胡恢宗、白云闲人、连南河、黄洋界、王君明、笑聊、qinghongh,谢谢你们的点评! |
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老山 秀才
Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 319
老山Collection |
Posted: 2011-03-03 17:08:15 Post subject: |
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王君明诗长云:“君山殘雪”之“君”處,印象中當仄。所言极是,仄声为正格(仄平平仄)。如“贺兰山缺”(岳飞)、“鹭飞鱼跃”(柳永)、“得知消息”(辛弃疾)等,据此,《唐宋词格律》(龙榆生编撰,上海古籍出版社)定为正格。时隔20多年后,赵京战先生编撰《诗词韵律合编》(中华书局2006年版)时,将此处的“仄”声改作“可仄可平” ,拙作即据此而为之。有不当之处,还望继续指教。 |
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