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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

清平乐·清明

不亦悦乎
童生

Joined: 02 Apr 2007
Posts: 40

不亦悦乎Collection

Posted: 2007-04-06 12:19:59 Post subject: 清平乐·清明

欲言止语，怎吐心中楚。飞雪无知仍漫舞，故国此时凄雨。依依逝者魂萦，空留存者偷生。恨未分身前去，坟边几句沙声。

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2007-04-06 17:01:24 Post subject:

凄婉。

晓松
举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection

Posted: 2007-04-06 18:59:24 Post subject: Re: 清平乐·清明

不亦悦乎 wrote:

欲言止语，怎吐心中楚。飞雪无知仍漫舞，故国此时凄雨。

依依逝者魂萦，空留存者偷生。恨未分身前去，坟边几句沙声。

后两句，情真意切，感人肺腑。

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-04-06 20:54:21 Post subject:

http://oson.ca/cpoetry/write_shi.php?cipai_id=23 平水韵：检查结果：完美无缺，简直神了！难道真没问题呀？？？中华新韵：检查结果： ⊙○⊙●○△换依依逝者魂萦〈—不合韵 ○○●●○○ _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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