胡恢宗 秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 564
胡恢宗Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-05 19:46:35 Post subject: 冻雪 |
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冻 雪
含羞白羽隐形飘, 冻雨淫威满地刀。
应是天公疏职守, 兆丰瑞絮未曾邀。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕 林深鸟竞飞 |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-06 07:52:03 Post subject: |
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胡恢宗,这首诗是否采用新韵?
看网上新闻,国內不少地方出現凍雨或海冰,气候异常! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2011-01-06 09:37:52 Post subject: |
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| 全球多处气候异常,人类生存环境堪忧。 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-06 13:54:40 Post subject: |
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天公疏职守,瑞絮未曾邀,
出语轻松幽默,实有责天之意。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2011-01-06 15:10:55 Post subject: |
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| 环境问题,主要是人类行为所致。在经济和社会发展的同时,没有注重自然环境的保护。 |
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胡恢宗 秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 564
胡恢宗Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-07 01:17:51 Post subject: |
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感谢三位老师阅评。
我是误用了《词林正韵》,用新韵的困难,主要是不善于处理入声字。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕 林深鸟竞飞 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-09 18:32:16 Post subject: |
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| 诗人道出了世人的担忧 |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-10 20:17:22 Post subject: |
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应是天公疏职守
转得好啊: 一转出张力! |
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秋叶 秀才
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 769
秋叶Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-10 22:10:59 Post subject: |
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应是天公疏职守, 兆丰瑞絮未曾邀。
后二句最妙! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-11 01:59:50 Post subject: |
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| 天也有不公哦! |
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胡恢宗 秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 564
胡恢宗Collection |
Posted: 2011-01-21 19:19:10 Post subject: |
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感谢四位老师的阅评。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕 林深鸟竞飞 |
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