Maple Review :: View topic - 卜算子 . 觅诗友

	Chinese Literature Society of North America \| Maple Review \| Immigrants in Canada \| Angel Studio \| The Driftwood Artist Society \| Ocean of Poetry \| Island of Music "HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
	FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Sign in Blogs Weblogs News Album



Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

卜算子 . 觅诗友

胡恢宗
秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection

Posted: 2010-12-18 19:51:14 Post subject: 卜算子 . 觅诗友

卜算子 . 觅诗友已过古稀年，才恋平平仄。镇日吟哦韵海游，求觅骚坛客。偕友共寻梅，探究寒梅色。更愿良师青眼招，立雪程门侧。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕林深鸟竞飞

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2010-12-18 20:30:12 Post subject:

已过古稀年，才恋平平仄。难得此“恋”啊。感人!

胡恢宗
秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 01:35:26 Post subject:

谢冰清老师赏阅。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕林深鸟竞飞

影沉寒水
举人

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 02:08:44 Post subject:

偕友共寻梅，探究寒梅色 _________________ 诗无涯。思在线

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 02:33:04 Post subject:

严寒识梅韵，煮酒论香来。好词。学习欣赏！

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 08:49:57 Post subject:

詩友共同切磋，喜阅人间春色。问好！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 08:58:52 Post subject:

淡筆浓墨，意切情真！古稀鬢斑斑，才恋平平仄 - 不用〝已过〞是否婉约些？偕友共寻梅，探究隆冬色 - 避开叠〝梅〞是否好一点？ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

胡恢宗
秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 18:26:09 Post subject:

感谢白云老指点，今后一定要在克服白上下功夫。根据老师的意见，全词作如修改：卜算子 . 觅诗友常悔鬢斑斑，才恋平平仄。对月吟哦韵海游，求觅骚坛客。偕友共寻梅，探究横斜色。更梦良师青眼招，立雪程门側。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕林深鸟竞飞

胡恢宗
秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection

Posted: 2010-12-20 18:40:04 Post subject:

感谢影沉寒水、黄洋界、笑聊三位点评。今后注意克服直白的毛病。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕林深鸟竞飞

宁家珍
秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 470
Location: 中国黄山
宁家珍Collection

Posted: 2010-12-21 04:50:39 Post subject:

胡恢宗 wrote:

卜算子 . 觅诗友
...

欣赏好词，问候恢宗老师。

Display posts from previous:

Emoticons





View more Emoticons

Page 1 of 1 View previous topic View next topic

Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME