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《五月》
邹米
童生


Joined: 06 Dec 2010
Posts: 32

邹米Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-19 01:15:07    Post subject: 《五月》 Reply with quote
《五月》
----邹米

一条路
两条路
三条路
四条路
五条路
同时把漫长 伸出去

麻雀
三三两两
落在上面

整个乡村
唱起
醉人的歌谣
2010.12.28
_________________
即使现代的诗歌成了废铁，我不能炼成叩问世界的铁锤，也要磨出一根能在你心底扎出血来的缝衣针。
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-19 20:37:13    Post subject: Reply with quote
倒是很有诗情，不过这首简单了，不就是那么几个麻雀吗？能让整个乡村唱起那么醉人的歌吗。。还是来个铺垫好再高潮好。

问好：）冬日快乐！！ time is running out
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin
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