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昨夜,奉献了我的第一次1[2]  Next
司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-03-31 01:08:15    Post subject: 昨夜,奉献了我的第一次 Reply with quote

昨夜,奉献了我的第一次

——司马策风


当我还是个爱做梦的小姑娘
就无数次的为第一次怀想
那一刻
每个少女都渴望得害怕
每个少女都幸福得想逃亡

昨夜,就是那神圣的时刻
昨夜,连空气都充满烈酒勾兑的蜜香
昨夜,我沐浴了三遍
让每一寸肌肤都是种植热吻的乐园
让每一颗细胞都会爆发原子弹的能量

他的眼睛有些古怪
看我 就如老虎看一只小绵羊
又如小孩看见天使的傻样
我,古怪的对他笑笑
我说,我要先许下三个愿望

点燃三只透明的红烛
轻轻的粘在心型的梳妆盒上
双手合十在胸前
以万分的虔诚跪奉那庄严的一瞬
烛光点亮我的泪花
三股神圣的暖流
从湖底搅动起幸福的涡旋
在舌头在齿间 风回路转
咀嚼成无声的语言

我走向他
就象英雄走向悲壮就义的刑场
他 轻轻的将我抱起
然后疯狂的旋转
突然,他一抛
就飘到了波涛翻滚的海面上

星星纷纷滑落
敲打做梦的深潭
柔风轻轻梳理蒲公英的花瓣
朵朵白云吹向阳光普照的桃花园
闪电突然划出一片异域时空
白兔飘落在无边的草原

野火缓缓爬涉在平原森林和沟壑
焦渴翻越了万水千山
可是来安慰远古的寂寞
还是来探究生命最初的根源

晚霞落进夜幕的襁褓里
酝酿出剑光的豪气和酒香的谴眷
在印度次大陆挤压欧亚版块的剧烈的造山运动中
在子夜与黎明幸会时
咿咿呀呀的风车叶片
渐渐飞向了云端

荒漠隔世的寂寥和空虚
呼唤着海啸送来淹没日月的巨浪
在这一声和那一声纠缠的脐带处
喷射了一束:尧,舜,孔,李,苏
又把唐,宋,元,明,清
送上了风云聚会的征途

蟋蟀以天赖的节奏
敲打高低长短的呼吸
从盘古的额头敲打到我的鼻尖
将数千年生生不息的历史
锻打成闪光夺目的文明长卷



2007,3,16
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沙漠
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PostPosted: 2007-03-31 06:19:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

后面两节怎么突然跳开了。问好:)
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杨海军
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PostPosted: 2007-03-31 18:36:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

荷兰风车叶片

轻轻飞向了云端

星星敲打着满月

钟磐佩玉在碰撞中交践

将晚霞放进夜幕的襁褓里

酝酿出剑光的豪气和酒香的谴眷

在这一声和那一声纠缠的脐带处

喷射了一束:尧,舜,孔,李,苏

又把唐,宋,元,明,清,送上了征途


在印度次大陆挤压欧亚版块的剧烈的造山运动中

在子夜与黎明的阴阳交合时

生命的江河静静的流向大海的故乡

蟋蟀以天赖的节奏

敲打高低长短的呼吸

从盘古的额头敲打到我的鼻尖

将数千年生生不息历史

锻打成闪光夺目的文化


好诗!!这种幻觉我也想体验!!!呵呵。
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下一个偶像是野兽
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Joined: 16 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-04-01 01:13:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵。问好。

有味道
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-04-01 01:29:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

沙漠 wrote:
后面两节怎么突然跳开了。问好:)


沙漠兄好:

这里并没跳开,而是继续——只是这种继续逐渐抽离纯粹的人物细节,

进而带入人文和历史的层面。

感谢关注点评
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-04-01 01:32:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
荷兰风车叶片

轻轻飞向了云端

星星敲打着满月

钟磐佩玉在碰撞中交践

将晚霞放进夜幕的襁褓里

酝酿出剑光的豪气和酒香的谴眷

在这一声和那一声纠缠的脐带处

喷射了一束:尧,舜,孔,李,苏

又把唐,宋,元,明,清,送上了征途


在印度次大陆挤压欧亚版块的剧烈的造山运动中

在子夜与黎明的阴阳交合时

生命的江河静静的流向大海的故乡

蟋蟀以天赖的节奏

敲打高低长短的呼吸

从盘古的额头敲打到我的鼻尖

将数千年生生不息历史

锻打成闪光夺目的文化


好诗!!这种幻觉我也想体验!!!呵呵。



感谢扬兄夸奖共鸣。

司马拱手
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王浥
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PostPosted: 2007-04-01 17:46:28    Post subject: 原来第一次是这样美妙! Reply with quote

原来第一次是这样美好奇妙,好诗!得益不浅!
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-04-02 01:26:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

下一个偶像是野兽 wrote:
呵呵。问好。

有味道


感谢野兽兄欣赏夸奖。

驷马拱手
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-04-04 00:27:23    Post subject: Re: 原来第一次是这样美妙! Reply with quote

王浥 wrote:
原来第一次是这样美好奇妙,好诗!得益不浅!


哦,感谢王浥兄赞扬。这样的经历,想必好多人有过。即使还没有,没吃过

猪肉,还没看过猪跑吗?
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-04-11 20:20:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

改后再提,请诗友们点评。

多谢
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酸风渍衣
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PostPosted: 2007-04-13 00:26:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

细腻的奉献,美丽的心跳,在波峰浪谷间。
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2007-04-13 04:00:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

恭喜!希望写的更纯粹些。
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韩少君
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PostPosted: 2007-04-18 14:40:50    Post subject: 问好 Reply with quote

写得很优美
商榷:后两段虽然很好但是否应单独列出
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-04-29 23:45:59    Post subject: 谢冲浪兄 Reply with quote

杯中冲浪 wrote:
恭喜!希望写的更纯粹些。


感谢兄台评阅。若兄有何高见,请直接赐教。

先拜
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郭思远
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PostPosted: 2007-04-30 00:08:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗的空间大 好诗
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PostPosted: 2007-04-30 00:30:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

形式上是幻想多与哲思,意义上是玩儿不?是不?
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-05-06 19:27:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

郭思远 wrote:
诗的空间大 好诗


多谢郭兄光临阅评赞扬——握手
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2007-05-06 19:29:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

金金 wrote:
形式上是幻想多与哲思,意义上是玩儿不?是不?


当然不是玩耍。性爱,乃是极其自然美好的行为——它繁衍了人类和文化。

这才是我歌颂的要旨。
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晓辉
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PostPosted: 2007-05-06 19:34:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

别开生面,文明就是"性"的滚动发展.欣赏了
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 07:50:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一次拜读,我觉得

不要用"在印度、欧亚(板块已够表义);
尧,舜,孔,李,苏;
唐,宋,元,明,清"
等特殊的名称感觉会较好些;
别那么清醒,美些。

其它的,佩服奇想。
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