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七律-珍惜和白云兄
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-22 23:30:59    Post subject: 七律-珍惜和白云兄 Reply with quote

文/笑聊
赞成白云兄的观点!临屏和上七律-珍惜:

人生不过百年期,善待应还努力施。
得意春风谦竞渡,少来秋雨当求之。
依心赋曲歌天地,出口成章美玉词。
尽抒豪情消岁月,养神确是只侬知。
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-23 07:53:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,"依心赋曲歌天地,出口成章美玉词", 好! 尽抒心中豪情,春风得意渡岁月!
謝謝和诗!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-23 17:10:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢白云兄鼓励!请教一下:仄平仄仄仄平平,(养神确是只侬知)这个句式,格律上有问题吗?
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-23 17:31:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,"养神确是只侬知",这句式無問题呀.你感觉有什么問題呢!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-23 19:37:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

在别的圈里,有的斑竹就认为有问题。我有点搞不清,因此就请教白云兄你了。

谢谢白云兄释疑!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-24 07:34:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,是在那一个网站,可以告诉我吗?等我有時間也去那里学習浏览一下.謝謝!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-24 14:26:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
笑聊,是在那一个网站,可以告诉我吗?等我有時間也去那里学習浏览一下.謝謝!


在新加坡南洋网(诗词雅座)版块。

问候兄长(老师)!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-25 12:50:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝笑聊!
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笛里关山.
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