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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
黃昏1[2]  Next
戀海
秀才


Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-25 03:40:11    Post subject: 黃昏 Reply with quote

當我凝視你的時候
你已經服從逐漸下降的引力
可是我還是一直癡等著你吐出一球浪漫
此刻田野已渾然忘我了
追趕你的那陣風也露出了無奈表情
曾經灌溉過的土地
如今自我心中長出萋萋荒草
倘若可以接觸寂寞
就不要問我時間究竟是
怎樣的一位賽車手
你以蘋果的樣子微笑
卻在我秋天第五十個消失的季節
畫出鮮色飽滿的
塞尚印象
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-26 05:21:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

我倒想起了莫奈的《日出》~也许日落日出有共同之处~一个把火焰慢慢吐出~一个把吐出的火焰慢慢收回~~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-26 08:13:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

情融于景畫出鮮色飽滿的塞尚印象
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-25 21:18:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

問好安紅紅以及白水
謝謝多情意的回應
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-28 04:17:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

那么美的诗,技巧又很隐藏,很自然,为什么不加精呢,我加吧。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
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蓝野牧人
童生


Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Posts: 13
Location: 教师
蓝野牧人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-28 07:12:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏,学习中。
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-29 02:57:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

問好杯中沖浪
謝謝鼓勵與回應

黃昏此詩
是我五十歲的眼界
李商隱夕陽無限好只是近黃昏的感慨
也深刻體會著
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-29 03:00:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

問好藍野牧人
遠握
謝謝回應
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十三瑾
童生


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 44

十三瑾Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-29 18:23:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

优美的诗歌!
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北夫
童生


Joined: 24 Sep 2010
Posts: 54
Location: 中国武汉
北夫Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-29 21:06:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

精华欣赏。
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-29 21:41:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

我看过一幅《对故乡的无限怀念》。忘记作者了。是正午的尖顶建筑物下面站着一个人的投影!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-01 13:05:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

十三瑾 wrote:
优美的诗歌!


問好十三瑾

此詩如果能夠有一些優美
或王國維所說
有境界始成高格
而黃昏的景象
亦同我五十歲的心情

謝謝回應
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-01 13:07:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

北夫 wrote:
精华欣赏。


問好北夫

詩有人喜歡
就高興了
謝謝欣賞
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-01 13:13:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

韩少君 wrote:
我看过一幅《对故乡的无限怀念》。忘记作者了。是正午的尖顶建筑物下面站着一个人的投影!


問好韓少君

詩如畫
畫如詩
總是
中國傳統的藝術精神

謝謝回應
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顽石
童生


Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Posts: 34

顽石Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-09 18:31:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

在我秋天第五十個消失的季節
畫出鮮色飽滿的
塞尚印象

——品读欣赏,问好!
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-10 06:17:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

問好頑石
謝謝對於此詩的回應與喜好

塞尚曾言
要以一顆蘋果震撼巴黎
雖然我無能這樣的理想
寫詩
聊以自娛
或也記錄心情
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东北诗弦
童生


Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 73

东北诗弦Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-10 17:22:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

的确是一篇好作品。好的作品篇幅不一定很长的。
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但觉高歌有鬼神,焉知饿死填沟壑?
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戀海
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Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-11 02:02:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

問好東北詩弦

此詩能得到朋友的迴響
真的很高興
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东北诗弦
童生


Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 73

东北诗弦Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-11 03:10:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

希望能给我们提供更多更好的诗歌作品。
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但觉高歌有鬼神,焉知饿死填沟壑?
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戀海
秀才


Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2010-12-12 02:39:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝東北詩弦的喜愛

此首黃昏
創作於台南將軍鄉
那是純樸的小鎮

多年前
我同樣寫了一首黃昏
那是於高雄都市
詩有著不一樣的心境
提供在此讓朋友欣賞

高雄的黃昏

天空一半憂鬱
一半充滿熱情
有一群白鴿嘴裡啣著宮商
飛過窗外

辦公大樓許多水蛇陸陸續續竄出
他們滑動身體
覓食六合路

忙碌的街道
排氣管持續哮喘
我提著頭顱
等在十字路口的紅燈

西子灣投出今天最美的一顆下墜球
我將它擊向
海岸千里遠
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