Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音 Post new topic   Reply to topic
唐多令-秋枫吟
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-09 05:11:46    Post subject: 唐多令-秋枫吟 Reply with quote

读白云兄词,轻松舒适,自然惬意,总有一种冲动的感觉迸发:

临屏和上一首《唐多令-秋枫吟》

满目是秋枫,群山火样红。任寒流、来势汹汹。君自安闲君自度,凭霜打、笑苍穹。
每遇相思中,取其诗意浓。最难消、情绪融融。寂寞疏星和瘦月,纵料想、也从容。

附白云兄原玉:

. . 落基秋遊. .
<调寄西江月>
欣賞丹楓妆盛,
醉听叶浪涛声.
浅吟低唱且徐行,
山水悠然本性.

風笛纵情送爽,
夕阳含笑相迎.
前望一抹彩雲輕,
珍惜良辰美景!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-09 08:25:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,君以:"秋楓火样红,面对寒流仍從容",寓意融融!
謝謝唱和好词!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-09 22:10:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
笑聊,君以:"秋楓火样红,面对寒流仍從容",寓意融融!
謝謝唱和好词!


谢谢白云兄鼓励!已将“望”字改为“笑”字,把无奈的意境转为积极的行动。
再次谢谢白云兄点拨!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
影沉寒水
举人


Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 03:12:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

君自安闲君自度,凭霜打、笑苍穹。

笑面人生
_________________
诗无涯。思在线
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 04:32:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢影沉寒水提读点评!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
王国栋
秀才


Joined: 09 Jul 2010
Posts: 295
Location: 陕西西安
王国栋Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 05:03:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

多有妙语,问哥好。
_________________
文学是一棵树,我就是树上唱歌的小鸟。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 07:57:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,通過切磋交流,诗詞更上层楼,共同笑渡人生!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 20:19:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

王国栋 wrote:
多有妙语,问哥好。


谢弟雅赏!问好!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 20:26:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
笑聊,通過切磋交流,诗詞更上层楼,共同笑渡人生!


谢谢白云兄,费心了。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-11 07:49:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,"笑"字用得好极了,把上阕意境推上了高峰! 一字之变,便写活了词意.这充分体現了练字的功效!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-11 17:50:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
笑聊,"笑"字用得好极了,把上阕意境推上了高峰! 一字之变,便写活了词意.这充分体現了练字的功效!


诚挚地说声谢谢白云兄!写诗词有时也需师友敦促鞭策。(人的本性是懒惰的)“望”字迭现出无奈的情绪,或者至少随意任流;“笑”字则完全不同于无奈无助,而是积极地化被动为主动,努力去适应去改造。

良师益友般的情意,永铭心头!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-12 07:24:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,写诗填词过程中,有時一下子未能达到理想,乃因有多种因素: 一是,有時抓破头皮,仍一時之間也想不出满意的语句來,却在稍時休息后,突然灵感一触,顿生出好詞來; 二是,有時赋长词時,顾此失彼,而出現疏漏; 三是,有時自己对该处不以为然,而没有多加考究; ...... 凡此种种,都极为需要朋友間相互吟诗论诗,共同交流心得.從中相互間都吸收到丰盛的养份,坛加诗赋的兴趣,并坛进了朋友間的交流互动!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-13 03:59:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

是的,往往在交流中会产生灵感;在互动中增进友谊,提高写作水平。

问好白云兄!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME