Maple Review :: View topic - 永恒(两个版本,请诗友提意见)

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

永恒(两个版本,请诗友提意见)

慈林
秀才

Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection

Posted: 2010-10-01 18:27:40 Post subject: 永恒(两个版本,请诗友提意见)

永恒(1) 来, 让我们做百年的朋友再做千年的鬼再做万年的仙一切皆流云一切皆尘土未世后永恒(2) 来, 让我们在阳间做百年的朋友在阴间再做千年的鬼末世后再做万年的仙一切皆流云一切皆尘土一切皆灰飞烟灭我们将永恒写作札记: 昨天夜半,仍不能眠,想到死亡事,脑海流出这几行诗.有两个版本,请诗友帮取舍,何为较佳.也可随便改.谢谢!

雷德明
童生

Joined: 09 Sep 2010
Posts: 23

雷德明Collection

Posted: 2010-10-01 19:08:22 Post subject:

来, 让我们做百年的朋友再做千年的鬼再做万年的仙一切皆流云一切皆尘土未世后 _________________ 雷德明武汉理工大学自动化学院 http://blog.sina.com.cn/deminglei11

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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