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七绝·幽兰
王国栋
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Joined: 09 Jul 2010
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Location: 陕西西安
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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 00:46:47    Post subject: 七绝·幽兰 Reply with quote

空谷幽兰寂寞开,香魂一缕待谁裁。
山花有意相陪伴,一夜芬芳出袖来。
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文学是一棵树,我就是树上唱歌的小鸟。
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金沙浪子
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Joined: 21 Jul 2008
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Location: 亚洲 中国云南 昭通巧家
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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 02:06:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习好句。浪子和一首:

重重幽寂涧坡开,不用仙凡岭壁栽。
多做性灵天地孕,抽将芽嘴破春来。
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山间十载槐香梦,世井一茬走马春。
过尽晴川与雾海,未遭奇变是真人。
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王国栋
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Location: 陕西西安
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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 03:30:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

金沙浪子 wrote:
学习好句。浪子和一首:
...

谢谢朋友精彩的和诗。
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白云闲人
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 08:02:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

婉约,芬芳!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 08:04:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

写出幽兰魂。
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王国栋
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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 15:09:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
写出幽兰魂。

托物言志。
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王国栋
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Location: 陕西西安
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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 15:11:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
婉约,芬芳!

谢谢朋友点评。
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笑聊
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Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-09-12 16:49:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

空谷幽兰寂寞开,香魂一缕待谁裁。
山花有意相陪伴,一夜芬芳出袖来。

袖疑是“岫”,因为弟在转句上用了山字。否则似乎读不通。这是一首写的相当好的咏物诗,欣赏了。
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王国栋
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Joined: 09 Jul 2010
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Location: 陕西西安
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PostPosted: 2010-09-13 03:10:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
空谷幽兰寂寞开,香魂一缕待谁裁。
...

弟本意是“近朱者赤,近墨者黑。”,若和幽兰在一处,香气浸染,夸张为从袖子中可以散发出来。
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