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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

爱的心灵

zhangmin
秀才

Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection

Posted: 2007-03-27 20:27:53 Post subject: 爱的心灵

秋虫的呻吟是为坟墓驱赶孤寂芙蓉的哭泣是为了独占月光的柔情酝酿美的清醇风吹动灯火跳动带来微弱的思念无数次独自走曾经一起的路程呐喊在诅咒里成为泡影是诗人捉弄爱神还是爱神捉弄诗人美总是融化在晶莹里含泪饮下孤独悲凉里诞生诗的永恒中国.江苏.张敏

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-03-28 04:16:33 Post subject:

感觉很好，句子力量太弱。要加强逻辑性的句间转换与各种方法紧密的联系。问好：）这些天看到您这么多的佳作，真的很高兴！！！ _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

zhangmin
秀才

Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection

Posted: 2007-03-29 17:00:22 Post subject:

感谢你的指点,问好. _________________ 风走过，灯灭了，黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-03-29 20:49:00 Post subject:

美总是融化在晶莹里 .

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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