寒丁 童生
Joined: 16 Mar 2007 Posts: 40
寒丁Collection |
Posted: 2007-03-25 18:31:18 Post subject: 来了一个不认识的人 |
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来了一个不认识的人
文/寒丁
今天的天气不算太坏
云朵有些发白
那只鸟儿嘴里吐着泉音
风的脚步变的更轻快
转身的时候
被一个影子吓坏
来了一个不认识的人
样子也还不算太坏
8:05 2007-3-23 _________________ 冷是另一种暖 |
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nobody 进士出身
Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 2651 Location: Madtown nobodyCollection |
Posted: 2007-03-25 23:52:13 Post subject: |
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有意思。
押韵读来感觉确实好些。押的也不生硬。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you? |
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赵福治 探花

Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 3456 Location: 中国北京 赵福治Collection |
Posted: 2007-03-27 03:49:25 Post subject: |
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今天的天气不算太坏
云朵有些发白
....意象有特色. |
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寒丁 童生
Joined: 16 Mar 2007 Posts: 40
寒丁Collection |
Posted: 2007-03-27 23:06:03 Post subject: |
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nobody wrote: |
有意思。
押韵读来感觉确实好些。押的也不生硬。 |
问好朋友,多批评 _________________ 冷是另一种暖 |
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寒丁 童生
Joined: 16 Mar 2007 Posts: 40
寒丁Collection |
Posted: 2007-03-27 23:07:22 Post subject: |
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赵福治 wrote: |
今天的天气不算太坏
云朵有些发白
....意象有特色. |
问好福治,多批评 _________________ 冷是另一种暖 |
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