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想起外婆
李日清
童生


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 74
Location: 山西省怀仁县王坪党办
李日清Collection
PostPosted: 2010-07-26 18:53:48    Post subject: 想起外婆 Reply with quote

《想起外婆》

三寸金莲

托起

丈夫已逝的四口之家

大雪遮盖了田野

一根绳索

万般无奈

串起四条生命

走向深不可测的枯井



当邻居送来冒着热气的米粥

磨难中的寒窑有了救星

倔强而忠贞的外婆

含辛茹苦

度过了落霜的岁月



一束鲜花

安放在

您芳草鲜美的屋前

止刻

我只听到落地有声的步履

像春雷滑过长夜的帷幕

山西省怀仁县王坪煤电公司党办李日清[13546094746][038301]
邮箱:szwplrq@163.com
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2010-07-26 21:41:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

值得敬重的外婆~~内容展现的不够~诗歌的厚重感不够~~~
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-07-26 22:01:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

中国的故事

我和安红红老师的观点不太一样
我觉得这首诗歌的厚重在文化气息里,真实而契合主题
厚重感是灵魂,诉说是筋骨


问好你
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李日清
童生


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 74
Location: 山西省怀仁县王坪党办
李日清Collection
PostPosted: 2010-07-28 19:27:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢老师指导.问好.
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