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[原创]我是新型的无产者
常建世
童生


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

常建世Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-27 00:25:44    Post subject: [原创]我是新型的无产者 Reply with quote

我是新型的无产者
新型得除老婆女儿外
一无所有
我行走在别人的大地上
窝居在他人的小屋里
像一只无航向的风筝
抽自心底的线
在别人的手里


我错生在那个无产者
最光荣最潦倒的年代
又错过了农村体改机遇
没落得一分地半根草
这是我的痛苦之根
是我成为新型无产者
沉郁辽阔的大背景


在这个肥肉上添膘
鸡骨头上剐油的时代
有钱的中国人擦法国香水
穿意大利皮鞋开德国轿车
玩美国电脑看日本电视
无钱的中国人同我一样
天天盼着希望工程


我是新型的无产者
骨瘦如柴是我无产的外形
妻女外一无所有
是我无产的深刻内涵
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-27 01:19:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

创意和题材都很好,可惜是分析诉说把主题掩埋了。问好先生
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常建世
童生


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

常建世Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-27 05:15:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢评读!有改动请再批!
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