qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
 Posted: 2010-06-30 19:31:56 Post subject: 五绝 山城夜景 |
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五绝 山城夜景（旧作）
于重庆鹅岭公园（大学实习）
与君登鹅岭，山下万灯明。
俯瞰山城夜，清风绕暮亭。
新改：
山城夜景（新韵）
与君登鹅岭，山下万灯明。
璀灿银河落，清风绕晚亭。 |
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笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
| Posted: 2010-06-30 23:58:45 Post subject: |
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| 庆宏兄，这绝句还可接下去哦。问好！ |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2010-07-01 03:32:32 Post subject: |
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| 笑聊 wrote: |
| 庆宏兄，这绝句还可接下去哦。问好！ |
问好笑聊兄。故乡怀旧，有待旧地重游。 |
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影沉寒水
举人
Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection |
| Posted: 2010-07-01 04:43:58 Post subject: |
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感觉三句不太好
_________________
诗无涯。思在线 |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2010-07-01 12:05:56 Post subject: |
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谢谢寒水兄指出。此为多年前重庆实习时旧作，触景感怀而写，有待锤炼改进提高。改一下：
山城夜景（新韵）
与君登鹅岭，山下万灯明。
璀灿银河落，清风绕晚亭。
请寒水兄再评。 |
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黄洋界
探花
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection |
| Posted: 2010-07-01 19:41:33 Post subject: |
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庆宏神游旧地,奉和一首.以助游兴.
欣登鹅项岭
满目晚霞明
命笔联新句
思贤览胜亭
_________________
++++++++++++++
喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰 |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2010-07-01 20:05:41 Post subject: |
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| 黄洋界 wrote: |
庆宏神游旧地,奉和一首.以助游兴.
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问好黄老师！谢谢黄老师和诗。 |
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