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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

我看见，黄昏巨大的悲伤

蓝天李梦
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 29

蓝天李梦Collection

Posted: 2010-06-12 04:37:58 Post subject: 我看见，黄昏巨大的悲伤

我看见，黄昏巨大的悲伤文／蓝天李梦一切都停止了。风，倾斜的夕阳深不可测的天空，飘浮不定的云。一切都停止了秋天，黄昏，时间的脚步，蝴蝶翩翩的翅膀一切都停止了。我看见黄昏巨大的悲伤—— 这些，来自于一根枯死的树桩撑起的天，和时光；这些，来自于树桩上的一只蝴蝶，和孤单的身影。仿佛一片深秋的枯叶，不停地拜谒，哀思，不愿离去像生，像死；像离，像别；像爱，像恨像。破碎的声音…… 2010-6-11 地址：江西省赣州南康市路福国际服装城香港街三栋18号　李　裕邮编：341400

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2010-06-12 19:13:47 Post subject:

一切都停止了。我看见黄昏巨大的悲伤——

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2010-06-12 19:31:50 Post subject:

短而韵味悠长 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

蓝天李梦
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 29

蓝天李梦Collection

Posted: 2010-06-19 00:36:18 Post subject:

赵福治 wrote:

一切都停止了。我看见
黄昏巨大的悲伤——

谢谢老师提读。问好！

蓝天李梦
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 29

蓝天李梦Collection

Posted: 2010-06-19 00:37:08 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

短而韵味悠长

谢谢老师提读。问候！

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2010-06-19 00:50:37 Post subject:

一种失落的情绪。节奏感也很强。情绪是意境的重要元素。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2010-06-19 01:13:20 Post subject:

还是有破碎的感觉。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

蓝天李梦
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 29

蓝天李梦Collection

Posted: 2010-06-20 02:07:32 Post subject:

韩少君 wrote:

一种失落的情绪。节奏感也很强。
情绪是意境的重要元素。

谢谢韩老师阅评。问候！

蓝天李梦
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 29

蓝天李梦Collection

Posted: 2010-06-20 02:08:41 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

还是有破碎的感觉。

谢谢老师提读。问好！

sfiawong
秀才

Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection

Posted: 2010-06-21 02:46:18 Post subject:

像是感情垂死的交煎, 一下子感到無奈的爭扎, 感情相當豐富,.是不錯的一首. 詩筆有力,感情流露! 問好! _________________ 有評必回應. Love your relatives and friends when they are near you. 我的英文詩: http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong http://facebook.com/sfiawong

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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