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爱的律动二首
李日清
童生


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 74
Location: 山西省怀仁县王坪党办
李日清Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-11 17:19:16    Post subject: 爱的律动二首 Reply with quote

《爱的律动》
未等晨曦露面
漫步在露珠明亮的目光中
无意中 爱情的阴影
从我精瘦的指缝间穿过
在那苍茫的雪原上
欢欣与荆棘同行
苦痛与温馨共枕
留恋的时光时隐时现
将我我的面颊一一揉皱
灵魂再次从土地厚重的气息中
滋生出黄嫩的枝芽
当我从一个令人心动的故事中惊醒
疲惫的思绪被一阵风
刺得深痛
《为谁守候》
灯盏划破窗棂
一道急促的闪电刺穿夜的帷幕
当寒风隐退
薄冰融化为溪水
空旷的田野泛出馋人的滋味
储藏已久的粒粒种子
隆起圆圆的胸脯
大地宽广的温床上
我在无数的守候中
终于 分娩出一个
欣喜若狂的春天

李日清[梨桃]:山西朔州市王坪煤电党办
手 机:13546094746
油 箱:szwplrq@163.com
邮 编:038301
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热爱文学,在国内报刊杂志发表100多首作品,入选多种文学作品集。
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-12 00:24:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

很有立体感,觉得能再整和一下。
浅见!

问好!
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李日清
童生


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 74
Location: 山西省怀仁县王坪党办
李日清Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-12 19:25:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢提出宝贵的意见!
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-13 07:56:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣喜若狂~~等到了要等的事物吧~~
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