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给老婆(外一首),请各位老师批评指导!
向北
童生


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 17

向北Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-08 23:17:39    Post subject: 给老婆(外一首),请各位老师批评指导! Reply with quote

给老婆 Smile
文/向北

一直想为你写一首诗
或者细腻或者丰实
然而生活却如同透凉的白开水
让人找不到一个浪漫的意象
连开头都很难
对于这样的苦恼你不曾知道

后来我作了这样的尝试
圆脸厚唇
怕累不怕脏
厌恶奔波却热爱生活
你就是这样吧
然而我爱你
就像你爱我们那张美丽的粉红色的床
2006-11-06

啊,爱情
文/向北

亲爱的,暖冬到来了吧
与你相爱的日子
春天般柔软的骨头一直梗在我的胸口

孤独的北极熊太累了
站在冰冷的高处仿佛一个洁白而善意的谎言
像是我用悠远如雾的眼神凝视你的裙摆
忧郁如同雪白而飞翔的时光

红蜘蛛像发酵过的女人
以高亢的姿体和灵巧的手
变幻向日葵偏移的方向

爱情是诗人笔下的隐喻
蓝蓝的天空回荡着绿色的鸟儿的身影
2006-11-11
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好好生活,快乐写作……
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-03-08 23:30:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

啊,爱情
写得很形象

红蜘蛛像发酵过的女人
以高亢的姿体和灵巧的手
变幻向日葵偏移的方向
Very Happy
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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向北
童生


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 17

向北Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-09 00:11:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢斑竹,我想在这里好好学习,希望斑竹和各位诗友都能提出宝贵的批评意见,
不胜感激!
握手!
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向北
童生


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 17

向北Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-22 23:15:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

嘿嘿,回帖的人少了……
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