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【原创】试作:中国体十四行诗
宗清
童生


Joined: 10 May 2010
Posts: 4
Location: 中国 南京
宗清Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-10 03:51:33    Post subject: 【原创】试作:中国体十四行诗 Reply with quote

爱的邂逅



宗清



一路走来带着我的风琴

在月光下吟诵我的诗章

尘世仙蝶仰慕诗名来往

穿越星辰后是寒风凛凛



仲夏夜的萤虫飞过树林

想要去搭载湖心的画舫

远方的伊人静守在闺房

恋人迟迟不归让我神黯



历史回廊叙写莎翁的歌

悲伤的故事写满在天空

陨落的星化作尘埃颗颗

归去来兮的路会否相同

我尝试着和你月下栏倚

可是你的话语让我心重



2010-5-9





附:

试作中国体十四行诗,韵式:abba-abba-cdcdcd

注:A为侵部、B为阳部、C为歌部、D为东部,皆为古韵。
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しら梅や誰がむかしより垣の外
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-11 17:02:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

新朋友,新尝试,愿你行行出新
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子在川上曰
举人


Joined: 18 Nov 2009
Posts: 1314

子在川上曰Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-11 17:13:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

我尝试着和你月下栏倚

可是你的话语让我心重
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我们是行走在历史中的一群鱼,现在正在大海的深处。
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戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-13 03:42:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

呃,古韻的話:
往字屬上聲,二十二養,而非平聲陽部。
凜字屬上聲,二十六寢,而非平聲侵部。
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我的blog
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宗清
童生


Joined: 10 May 2010
Posts: 4
Location: 中国 南京
宗清Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-18 10:20:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

戴玨 wrote:
呃,古韻的話:
...


我参考的是1982年9月,江苏人民出版社出版的《上古音手册》!
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