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等待的黄鹤楼
狼孩
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Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 206
Location: 中国
狼孩Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-02 05:19:36    Post subject: 等待的黄鹤楼 Reply with quote

《等待的黄鹤楼》

黄鹤来没来过
除了一楼砖瓦的传说
连片羽毛也没留下
只留下几句黄鹤诗
和几个没见过黄鹤的诗人
在一座空楼里争论

可黄鹤一去不返
自从崔颢的诗贴出来
似乎都被墙确认了
只是不知道黄鹤此去
究竟还回不回来
连名不符实的黄鹤楼
也在那里吟诗痴等

那位到处喝酒的李白
没事就聚到这里
站在没有黄鹤的黄鹤楼上
期望成江水辞别而去
希望如白云栖枝
就是看不到黄鹤的琴声

谁守着一动不动的风楼
放飞唯一的月亮
谁赶着满天的羊群
牧养成草原长调
可诗句终究不是缰绳

长江在等天上的圣水
黄鹤楼在等黄鹤回归
我自己变成一只黄鹤
扇动两只翅膀沿江岸飞来
惊得所有的人目瞪口呆
我要会写李白的唐诗
一定也能成为大诗人
我想
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我要让你看见我,却不知道我是谁。
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-02 09:23:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

很有ambition的狼孩。希望有机会能同登黄鹤楼,远眺江水。
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-03 10:11:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

越往后的几段越好~想象和内心要表达的衔接到位~~
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如果不开始,会失去过程。
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微信:qisebaihuayuan
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sfiawong
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Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection
PostPosted: 2010-05-05 14:30:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

你是心水清的詩人,
可惜生不逢時,
否則和古人合唱,..
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Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
我的英文詩:
http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong
http://facebook.com/sfiawong
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-05 15:36:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

除了一楼砖瓦的传说
连片羽毛也没留下
只留下几句黄鹤诗
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-15 18:48:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

建议狼孩在成为大诗人前,不妨先成为富豪。
做富豪比做诗人容易多了。自己做不了富豪,
不幸成为了诗人,——那是“天降大任于斯人也”。
我回望过去,才发现身后躺着的都是悲哀的道路。
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