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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

投稿：刘海的诗一组，请批

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-23 22:56:23 Post subject: 投稿：刘海的诗一组，请批

刘海的诗文/刘海（土也）《民工》他们和钢筋混凝土一起把自己安装在城市这部机器从大楼的地基开始一层一层徐徐的塔吊将他们和混凝土送上城市的最高点他们有时偷个懒乘包工头不注意作沉思状想到自己盖起的大楼心头涌起不平　充满惆怅然后在亲手封顶的楼顶上在城市的制高点站上一小会儿发几句牢骚最后被一阵风吹散《一件过时的新衣服》整理衣橱我和妻子眼前忽然一亮我们使劲去想何年何月购买这件过时的新衣服想得太累便懒得再想妻子说过时的衣服处理掉吧留着还占地方我说留着它或许再过三四十年会成为流行的时尚《无题》我独自奔跑在雷电交加的瓢泼大雨里手心紧紧攥着属于我们的那个晴朗的下午不断被撕咬着的干燥的部分《较量》这么多年，我一直低着头朝前走，从不回过头去，看看身后，或者左顾右盼甚至停下脚步我知道，只要停下来回头看看身后或者往顾左右梦想的高地就会失守《电梯》我一边看报纸一边安静地等待仰头看看，数字不断变换六五四三二一电梯从最高处回归稳稳地停住门不紧不慢地打开你从归于低处的电梯里走了出来我们彼此轻碰一下目光嘴角微微颤动然后，我便迈进即将升高的电梯通联：山东省乳山市71670部队政治处刘　海（土也）　　邮箱：lh1137@163.com 博客地址：http://lh1137.blog.163.com/ 邮编：264500 手机：15069458907

四一果
童生

Joined: 13 Mar 2010
Posts: 43

四一果Collection

Posted: 2010-03-24 00:58:47 Post subject:

关注民工，关注生活，多写关注现实的诗，喜欢。

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-24 04:01:00 Post subject:

谢谢。

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2010-03-24 08:07:19 Post subject:

《民工》没有充分的展开~《较量》不错~意境出来了~ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-24 16:52:32 Post subject:

受益匪浅。谢谢指点。

根瑶
秀才

Joined: 25 Sep 2009
Posts: 106

根瑶Collection

Posted: 2010-03-24 18:31:57 Post subject:

我知道，只要停下来回头看看身后或者往顾左右梦想的高地就会失守有韵味！问好！

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-24 22:04:11 Post subject:

谢谢。

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-28 02:11:24 Post subject:

路过的诗友，过来看看。

大侠仙子
秀才

Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 215
Location: 湖南
大侠仙子Collection

Posted: 2010-03-28 04:05:44 Post subject:

安红红 wrote:

《民工》没有充分的展开~《较量》不错~意境出来了~

与红同感，问好楼主！

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-28 16:58:07 Post subject:

问好，谢谢。

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2010-03-28 19:35:12 Post subject:

《民工》他们和钢筋混凝土一起把自己安装在城市这部机器从大楼的地基开始一层一层徐徐的塔吊将他们和混凝土送上城市的最高点他们有时偷个懒乘包工头不注意作沉思状想到自己盖起的大楼心头涌起不平　充满惆怅然后在亲手封顶的楼顶上在城市的制高点站上一小会儿发几句牢骚最后被一阵风吹散 ——无奈的他们！！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

刘海
童生

Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 37
Location: 安徽六安
刘海Collection

Posted: 2010-03-28 22:59:42 Post subject:

谢谢。问候山城子老师。

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