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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

渴望

黑发瀑布
童生

Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 28

黑发瀑布Collection

Posted: 2007-03-19 21:04:18 Post subject: 渴望

* 渴望朱建霞划一条什么样的直线才距离雪最近面向南方让纷至叠来的水淹没一切吧指尖剥落纷乱的情节黑暗在减速慢行我们拒绝打开谜底的花瓣提前返程的疼痛不需要车票重蹈一模一样的灾难在彻底的毁灭中拒绝新生找遍了所有的角落云朵入眠雪，在这个冬天再次缺席

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-03-19 23:00:12 Post subject:

您可以把句子归整到连接看起来上比较完整些，把思考放得更开阔松弛，然后再加入记叙 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-03-19 23:15:22 Post subject:

云朵入眠雪，在这个冬天再次缺席。。。。结尾不错。

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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