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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

(原创)目送你远去的背影

吴景慧
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Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Posts: 100
Location: 吉林白山
吴景慧Collection

Posted: 2010-02-18 09:16:39 Post subject: (原创)目送你远去的背影

你走了，我象欣赏一幅画远远的望着你，风景永远离不开色彩，象你焦渴的心永远离不开我爱的滋润目送你远去的背影，我看见两颗心紧紧的相握，默默地等待下一次相约。转身我把步子走成期待，走成对你一生一世的牵挂我听见自己心灵的鼓声贴近一种旋律，我在那声音里体会一种爱的分量爱的意义—— 背影一点点缩小，相思一点点扩大，一点点把我的心填满。这时我看见一张幸福的笑容，再一次逼近我，一寸寸地逼短 ——相思的路程 _________________ 诗是分行的文字，但不是所有分行的文字都是诗。写完了一首诗之后，自己再读一读，看看能不能先感动了你自己。http://blog.sina.com.cn/dongfanghui123

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2010-02-18 21:01:45 Post subject:

真情的就是美好的

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2010-02-19 06:35:02 Post subject:

我个人以为这首诗很“老”道，也很有新意。 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2010-02-19 09:18:26 Post subject:

情真意切~~~ _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2010-02-20 18:16:49 Post subject:

因为情真而感动，由于意切而共鸣。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

吴景慧
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Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Posts: 100
Location: 吉林白山
吴景慧Collection

Posted: 2010-02-21 19:35:11 Post subject:

杨海军 wrote:

我个人以为这首诗很“老”道，也很有新意。

谢谢海军表扬！
_________________
诗是分行的文字，但不是所有分行的文字都是诗。写完了一首诗之后，自己再读一读，看看能不能先感动了你自己。http://blog.sina.com.cn/dongfanghui123

王晓琴
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Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 132
Location: 安徽
王晓琴Collection

Posted: 2010-02-23 01:45:59 Post subject:

^_^ _________________ 安徽六安市裕安区政协王晓琴邮编：237000 伊妹儿：wangxiaoqin3@126.com 安徽琴子的BLOG http://blog.sina.com.cn/wxq3

吴景慧
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Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Posts: 100
Location: 吉林白山
吴景慧Collection

Posted: 2010-02-27 19:25:02 Post subject:

晓琴咋不给老兄点评一下？一朵微笑是好是孬？不置可否。呵呵！ _________________ 诗是分行的文字，但不是所有分行的文字都是诗。写完了一首诗之后，自己再读一读，看看能不能先感动了你自己。http://blog.sina.com.cn/dongfanghui123

吟啸徐行
举人

Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection

Posted: 2010-03-04 22:20:30 Post subject:

诗歌首先以情真意切打动人,情真意切是这首诗最成功之所在,当然在形式上,也打破常格,有出新出彩的地方. _________________ 彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.

梅雪
童生

Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Posts: 27

梅雪Collection

Posted: 2010-03-05 06:34:42 Post subject:

画面感很强，真切感人~~ _________________ 诗就是我自由的心！我行我素，我写我心！新浪博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1296300932

吴景慧
秀才

Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Posts: 100
Location: 吉林白山
吴景慧Collection

Posted: 2010-03-08 01:06:33 Post subject:

梅雪 wrote:

画面感很强，真切感人~~

谢谢梅雪的点评！问好并祝创作丰收！
_________________
诗是分行的文字，但不是所有分行的文字都是诗。写完了一首诗之后，自己再读一读，看看能不能先感动了你自己。http://blog.sina.com.cn/dongfanghui123

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