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nightingale2 童生
注册时间: 2009-10-22 帖子: 59
nightingale2北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-01-23 07:33:48 发表主题: To be or not to be-Ophelia's answer(1- 4) |
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To be or not to be -- Ophelia's answer(1)
Day is night, night is day
When for me the Angele of Death's on his way
Moon stops its heart beating
And clouds keeps on weeping
A curtain of tragedy falls to its knee
With a distant wave of tunes of Nymph's plea
Too late, all cries for help are too weak
While my life for answering thee hangs on a twig
And the question is To-Be-Or-Not-To-Be
Little matters now even thy tears could flood the sea
I shall go with a song of heartfelt joy
“Thy soul is what I do save but destroy”
Voice from the god soothing away all my pains
Dear Hamlet, in 7-heaven I shall wait for thee
* thee, 古英语,指-你
thy, 古英语,指-你的
7-heaven,seven heaven, 相当于heaven,天堂,天国。
翻 译----
生或死—奥菲利亚之答 (1)
白天成夜晚, 夜晚成白天
当死亡天使走来我身边
月儿停止了心跳
云儿不断地哭嗷
悲剧之幕落至它的膝头
宁芙的哀求缥缈伤惆
一切晚矣,所有求救声都那般虚弱
为回答你,我的生命悬系在一根枝头
你那问题是:生存或死亡
万事俱成灰,即便你的泪能淹没那海洋
一路而去,我会唱着快乐的歌
“你的魂灵是我将救拯,不会销铄”
上帝的声音抚慰,我顿消全部的苦痛
亲爱的哈姆雷特,在天国我会将你等着
* 宁芙,nymph, 希腊神话里的仙子,这里指水仙子
(2) Seeking Still
Time left days behind whistling by
Like an eagle dashes from sky for hunting
But what price thee hast hunting
Does thy enemy's death put thee sleep when lie
Since doom took us apart, my soul with angles fly
As if a pilgrim goes round the universe to search
Beyond mountains and seas the truth's waiting to merge
Oasis of answering thee in hiding somewhere is for me to apply
Fruitlessly, this soul of mine shall not be at rest
Since sanctions for reincarnation do not require
Yet life turned to lifeless but zest
For love caused hatred as retribution but nest
See? As the dew of rose flower ends in sour for nobody's desire
Love and life is as good as dead for nobody's quest
* 1/hast,古英语,have的第二人称单数现在时。
2/这首诗歌形式是英语诗歌古典派里的14行诗体的一种变体,其句尾规则是- A-B-B-A,C-D-D-C,E-F-E,E-F-E
(2) 依然探寻
时间将日子丢在身后呼啸而过
犹如为捕猎,老鹰自天猛地冲落
然而你所追捕的究竟是何
你躺在床上时,会因你的敌人之死安然入睡么
厄运将我俩分开后,我的魂灵与天使一起飞翔着
忠实信徒般在世宇寻遍
山山与海海之外,真理等着出现
你问题的答案沙漠绿洲般躲着我会去寻来
得不到结果我的魂无以安宁
为复活所制规则也没对此有何规定
当爱不是槽窝,却引来复仇之恨
生活就曾变得毫无生气
知道么?当玫瑰花露终究由甜变酸不再诱人
爱和生活与死无异引不起谁为之追寻
(3) Decline
Seasons change beauty of nature but mine
Time changes no future of mine but thine
Neither could nightingale's song cheer up feelings in me
Nor could moonlight kisses away mist on my sorrow sea
Without thee aside, my happiness in sharp decline
Oft I thought that love alike vine
Stretched afar spreading affections and intertwine
Fallen leaves showed their love to earth and tree
While my falling utterly was my sadness over thou
Pure ingredients brew exquisite sumptuary wine
Excess elements brew love out of the safety line
Had I been a light-hearted tree
The soft water could have hold me
Thus my life-time was in sharp decline
None could be done now only my bline floods though
(3) 衰 微
四季变换景变幻,却改变不了我的
时间改不了我的未来,却可以改变你的
夜莺之歌无法给与我快乐
月色之吻也无法清除我悲忧海上的雾呢
没你在身边,我的幸福日缩夜减着
我曾常常想:爱就如那青藤
远远伸延传播着爱又互相缠绵
落叶将它们的爱对大地和树展现
而我的跌落只缘我对你那般地愁哀
纯洁之料酿出的红酒甘美浓酽
过多的外因会使爱不再安全
倘若我是棵轻松的树木
温柔的湖水会将我托着
如此这般我渐渐地失去生命了
现在已无可奈何,尽管我泪流成河
* 1/thine,thou - 古英语,您,汝。
2/oft - 古英语,often , 经常。
3/这首诗歌是15行体诗歌Rondeau,其句尾形式--A-A-B-B-A, A-A-B-C, A-A-B-B-A-C。
4/英语诗歌的一些优美是汉语无法表达的,比如,fall的原意是-坠落,飘落,引申意-人变得消极,或者某人、某国社会地位的降低,如-Rome's fall/罗马帝国的衰亡;
(4)Darkness the Savior
Had darkness been a savior means to stay
The sunlight would be out of our sight
And one could just freely lose his way
Many say darkness makes the world decay
Yet the breeze to me a 10-times-softer poem in night
Had darkness been a savior means to stay
Who blames moonlight tricks fireflies to play
Though clouds may come and cast over the starlight
And one could just freely lose his way
As Morpheus sings gently on the dreamland clay
Painful reality disturbs no more while one sleeps tight
Had darkness been a saviour means to stay
Now nothing could again put me in dismay
All fulfilled my heart is to my delight
And one could just freely lose his way
Tranquility is a facility to avoid being stray
In dream I couldn't be disarrayed but feel light
Had darkness been a savior means to stay
And one could just freely lose his way
(4) 黑暗的救世主
若黑暗是住下不走的救世主
太阳会从我们的视线里消失
人一不小心极易会迷失去路
人们说黑暗使世界腐烂了去
但夜中飔风是格外轻柔的诗
若黑暗是住下不走的救世主
谁会指责月色使萤火虫跳舞
尽管云朵飘来会将星光遮住
人一不小心极易会迷失去路
当莫菲斯在梦境地轻哼歌曲
眠中人不再受痛苦现实干涉
若黑暗是住下不走的救世主
现在不再有什么能使我丧沮
充盈我心的都使我那般快乐
我可以随心所欲不再顾世俗
安宁是使人免于迷乱的工具
梦眠中我不再心烦轻松如是
若黑暗是住下不走的救世主
我可以随心所欲不再顾世俗
* 1/ 此诗是西方的古典派的19行式诗villanelle,其句尾规则是-A1-b-A2, a-b-A1 ,a-b-A2,a-b-A1,a-b-A2,a-b-A1,A2 。
2/ 英语诗与法语或德语的不同之一在于它的一词多意,比如,lose本来是-失去,可以引申为-丢去,抛舍, way有好几个意思-路,方式,方法;所以翻译和理解英文诗歌也可以多种不同。
3/ 莫菲斯Morpheus是希腊神话里的梦之女神。
4/ 此长诗里每一篇的感情各不相同,或喜或悲,体现了主人公的精神混乱状况。
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hepingdao Site Admin
注册时间: 2006-05-25 帖子: 8106
hepingdao北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-01-23 10:52:27 发表主题: |
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And clouds keep on weeping
很棒 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
注册时间: 2007-06-10 帖子: 3950 来自: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-02-09 22:54:12 发表主题: |
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weep:哭嗷? 流泪? _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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nightingale2 童生
注册时间: 2009-10-22 帖子: 59
nightingale2北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-03-26 03:17:40 发表主题: |
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weep:哭嗷? 流泪?
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谢谢周先生指出!
我还没有考虑好,一般我翻译的与原诗是不太一样的;上面那词语是为了押韵,一直没想出更好的词语,烦闷哦。 |
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SLIU 秀才
注册时间: 2010-01-01 帖子: 384
SLIU北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-04-02 00:02:17 发表主题: |
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有人认为翻译可以再创造 |
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nightingale2 童生
注册时间: 2009-10-22 帖子: 59
nightingale2北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-04-11 03:28:40 发表主题: |
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有人认为翻译可以再创造
~~~~~~~~~~~
那个人可能是我,嗬嗬。我翻译的不少与原文都是有出入的,不是我不明白,其实是翻译者们各有所见,原因众多,有些人认为应该坚持原文,事实上,那样做,往往无法反映出诗歌的韵律美,因为外文与中文的韵律不同,那样不但会减弱诗歌的优美性,而且,会让读者们误解,以为那些诗歌原文的确也并不是很优美,事实上,我可以百分白的肯定,大部分不阅读外文原文诗歌的中国人的确从那种直接而没有优美韵味可谈的翻译中误以为外国诗歌就是那样没有韵味;相反,有韵味的翻译又往往会失去原意,有时候不是故意,却是无奈,鱼翅熊掌不可兼得;所以,文化交流的确不是容易的事,语言障碍不是说你想越过就可以轻易越过的,专家也未必能轻易越过这样的障碍。诗歌翻译应该是翻译中最困难的,科学论文反而比较容易,只要你懂得那个专业的一点知识,一般不会翻译错,但诗歌原文本身其大多语法就不严格,理解上会有难度,更别说翻译了;另外,现代派和后现代派诗歌的似是而非的原文意思和思想,更是让人无法确立如何翻译才是最恰当的,有时候,不可以说哪个翻译的就是最好,而是各有各的好。 |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-04-12 12:25:56 发表主题: |
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nightingale2 写到: |
(2) Seeking Still
Time left days behind whistling by
Like an eagle dashes from sky for hunting
But what price thee hast hunting
Does thy enemy’s death put thee sleep when lie
Since doom took us apart, my soul with angles fly
As if a pilgrim goes round the universe to search
Beyond mountains and seas the truth’s waiting to merge
Oasis of answering thee in hiding somewhere is for me to apply
Fruitlessly, this soul of mine shall not be at rest
Since sanctions for reincarnation do not require
Yet life turned to lifeless but zest
For love caused hatred as retribution but nest
See? As the dew of rose flower ends in sour for nobody’s desire
Love and life is as good as dead for nobody’s quest
* 1/hast,古英语,have的第二人称单数现在时。
2/这首诗歌形式是英语诗歌古典派里的14行诗体的一种,其句尾规则是- A-B-B-A,C-D-D-C,E-F-E,E-F-E
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Hi nightingale,
You have noted the rhyme of this form of poetry, but what kind of meter or rhythm is employed here? I can't figure it out from reading your poems here.
Thanks for sharing.
Lake _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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nightingale2 童生
注册时间: 2009-10-22 帖子: 59
nightingale2北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-04-13 12:28:15 发表主题: |
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i can't answer that, because I ust did it in a hurry, and all these are not my most important one, so i guess i would think about all these when i really have time. sorry! |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-04-13 16:39:13 发表主题: |
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No need to say sorry.
I have some idea about Shakespearean sonnet, Italian (or Petrarchan) sonnet and Spenserian sonnet, each has its own rhyming schechem associated with a form of meter. But I have no idea of the 14 line poem you wrote above and since you wrote in this form and mentioned its rhymes, I thought probably you know what kind of meter is used (If there is any?). It is new to me, I really want to know about it. But if you don't have any information handy, don't bother answering my question.
Cheers,
Lake
PS: Looking forward to your important ones. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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nightingale2 童生
注册时间: 2009-10-22 帖子: 59
nightingale2北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-04-20 23:20:39 发表主题: |
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I remembered that i copied the styly from a famous British poet's poem, it might be a deformed sonnet.
i myself is waiting for my improtant ones to be out soon, unfortunately, i'm writing in a very slow manner, according to my plan, i would use my whole life to write those and polish them untill they really sparkle--i just want to blind people
thank you for being so polite and patient with the silly me
best wishes to you! |
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sfiawong 秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-05 帖子: 813 来自: US/HK sfiawong北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2010-06-03 19:17:11 发表主题: |
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nightingale2 写到: |
有人认为翻译可以再创造
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Nightingale2 君,說的也極是,翻譯本不是容易達理想,尤以兩國文字的差異,音譯和意譯可大不相同,完全是兩回事,英文譯成中文,就容易失去音律的悠美,真是極之原容易掌握的部份,如果用此譯,更容易失去作者我不意,是最不易和諧,又不易保存的方法,較對有經驗的翻譯者來說,是不容易取舍,當然能達至兩方面都沒失去,應是最理想不過,這是相當考工夫的,需要很深厚的學養,功底不是一般人可以做到.甚至有些是博士人才也不一定能有優良的翻譯本領,是不出奇的,不要以為是有高學位者必能勝任,不過以有翻譯長久經驗者,可能信手拈來,既合識韻,也合原文意思,真是最考工夫是也! _________________ 有評必回應.
Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
我的英文詩:
http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong
http://facebook.com/sfiawong |
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