Maple Review :: View topic - 心愿（二）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

心愿（二）

晴天雨天
秀才

Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Posts: 213
Location: 杭州
晴天雨天Collection

Posted: 2010-02-06 08:53:38 Post subject: 心愿（二）

心愿（二）走很多年后仍在原地踏步石板很方圆圆的车轮压过也曾郁闷，也有不甘后来你想：车上或许是你你或许没低头看平凡的我只会原地踏步只是一块石板罢了何必想成高傲的骑士炫耀在想象的蓝天白云之下说为了等一双脚印等一个人说你是石板你坚韧是啊所以走很多年后仍没走出那个脚印那是你的原因只是说了怕伤你只做该做的石板因为知道: 宿命的光环仿佛一个魔圈罩在头上你只是块石板没心没愿的小小石板 _________________ 得到并不一定好，失去并不一定差！

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2010-02-07 22:23:43 Post subject:

奠基石令人尊重和感动，再增加点冲击力会更好些。

晴天雨天
秀才

Joined: 20 Jan 2010
Posts: 213
Location: 杭州
晴天雨天Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 00:29:18 Post subject:

平凡.低调才会出大爱!问好 _________________ 得到并不一定好，失去并不一定差！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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