Maple Review :: View topic - 掌心的溶化

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

掌心的溶化

zhangmin
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Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection

Posted: 2007-03-17 18:07:48 Post subject: 掌心的溶化

离开贫乏的日子走进你的心里让牵手溶化于掌心你在宁静中寻找笑容品尝绚丽的甜蜜我披着你的烟雾手心里潮湿了思念我们携一颗感恩的心让简朴的风吹过芳香中守侯一份真情我走出飞雨的夜友情葱茏你的身边随天意的缘象两人合用一把雨伞风景依稀我们无奈的心绪中国.江苏.张敏

沙漠
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Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection

Posted: 2007-03-17 20:54:18 Post subject:

写得很顺。个人感觉语言上可新些。 _________________ 个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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