杨海军译诗两首

[杨海军]

《火车》
杨海军

其实，火车一直在穿越。从松辽大地
到胶东半岛。从二十年前早晨的苦涩
到现在黄昏的老。是从大水深处生长的一棵
甘蔗，不停地拔节，展开新鲜的汽笛的叶子
发出沉重的喘息，像一头犁荒的牛。父亲的
怨怒从车厢后升起，风中游动鞭子。母亲的
眼神暗淡，浮出车窗，秋风中就要熄灭的翅膀.
呵，一列火车的穿越，脱下多少季节的衣服，多少
时光的叶片甩在身后。多少次，我被这强劲的河流
冲击，滋生遗落的梦境 。多少次，我坐在痛苦的
双轨上，等待毁灭的撞击。它从我身上无情碾过，我有
坚硬的骨头。呵，一辆火车的穿越，就像大地突然
跳出来的闪电。它击弯了父亲的身体。有时，它像
一只缓慢的青虫，咬噬我树叶的心，留下无数伤口
《The Train》

作者：YANG HAIJUN
翻译：白水Moonlight、 和平岛
Yes, the train is running. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula.
From the suffering morning of 20 years ago
until this old dusk.
It is ever growing sugarcane,
stretching with leaves
of whistles and gasping for breath like a plowing cow.
My father's temper arose from the back of the train, with a whip waving in wind.
My mother's eyes dimmed in the dark,
floating out of the window, like wings of candle
dying out in autumn winds.
Yeah, a train passed through, unclothing so many seasons,
and leaving behind countless leaves.
So many times, I was striken by this powerful river, dreaming lost dreams.

So many times, I sat on the rail, awaiting a death of collision.
It ran over me, but I have strong bones.
Oh, a passing train is like a lightning out of the ground.
It bowed my father's back.
some times, it is like a worm,
biting into the hearts of leaves, leaving behind so many wounds.



《故乡》

杨海军


其实，我不敢再想起故乡。那么多人
为故乡洒下泪水，那么多人在夜晚
走在回家的路上。坐火车。坐飞机。坐轮船。
更多的人用双脚行走。但多数找不到方向，他们
的故乡被大风吹远，只有在梦里回到故乡。
故乡永远被月光照耀，我们被故乡的灯火
照耀。行李里装着故乡,故乡太沉，我们
很缓慢。有人扔掉了故乡飞起来，却再也落不回
地面。我们走得越远，越是向故乡靠近。就像
从故乡泥土里生出的一片青草，风雨
折断和吹光这些头发，根还在泥土里梦着来年
其实，我想说故乡是一座墓碑 那么多人生活在
墓碑里。白天沉寂和荒凉。夜晚在月光下
忙碌。我看见,在一个叫南山崴的村口，聚集了
很多刚回到故乡的人，他们和久别的人
拥抱。痛哭。说以后就是死也不会离开家乡......

《Hometown》
作者： YANG HAIJUN
翻译：白水，和平岛
In fact, I am afraid to think about my hometown.
Lots of people weep for it,
and they walk back home at night,
by car, by train, by air, or by ship.
more of them on foot,
but most of them couldn't find their way home.
Their hometown is brown farther away,
they could only go back in dream.
The hometown is shone by the moonlight,
and we are always in the lights of own hometown.
We put our hometowns in the luggage.
Own hometowns are so heavy,
we move slowly.
Some fly away without hometown,
they couldn't go back on the ground any more.
The farther we go,
the closer we are to our hometowns.
Like grass in own home land,
windstorm broken their hair
but the roots are dreaming for next year.
Yes, I want to say
that my hometown is a tombstone,
lots of people live there.
Quiet and desolate in the day,
but busy in the moonlight at night.
I saw a village called Nanshanwei,
people coming home assemble there.
They meet with their dear ones.
They embrace each other and cry, saying:
never depart from hometown, even when they die.
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

[kino]

not sure about the "yes" in the beginning. Yes sounds more conversational (like in a dialogue), and stonger in the sense of confirmation than "qishi". qishi in chinese sounds, though a bit conversational, more like a monologue.

PS.: please check the spellings. [/code][/quote]

[杨海军]

请您指正
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

[hepingdao]

A Train

It keeps on going. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula. From 20 years ago's bitter morning
to this dim dusk. From deep water, a sugarcane
coughs out its hopeful leaves, like an ox plowing a wasteland.
Father's resenting look appears from the back of wagon
with a whip in the wind. Mother's gloomy eyes
glaze out of the window, like wings of light
distinguished in an autumn wind. A train!
The time passes like a train. It has taken away so many seasons,
leaving leaves of hope behind. Numerous times, I was striken by
torrents, tossed in my dreams. I rode on rails, awaiting
a dreadful collision. Ruthlessly, it ran over me,
over my unyielding bones. A train has the power of lightning.
It strikes down my father. Occasionally, it slowes down
like a worn, biting into old memories, left behind
only wounds
_________________
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[hepingdao]

翻译成英文诗歌，需要坚持两点
1。逻辑性强，任何比喻，都要入情入理，恰到好处
2。简解，句子通顺
_________________
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[白水]

谢谢peace, 修改稿终于出台了，看来这次比较认真，辛苦了。 说明咱们的架没白吵，前嫌一笔勾销。

你看还需不需要我请我曾经告诉你的那个英文老师再看看？

[hepingdao]

好，感谢

我把精力都放在开发一字通上，
没有时间管其他事情，见谅
_________________
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[白水]

放放松

Google翻译：

《火车》
杨海军

其实，火车一直在穿越。从松辽大地
到胶东半岛。从二十年前早晨的苦涩
到现在黄昏的老。是从大水深处生长的一棵
甘蔗，不停地拔节，展开新鲜的汽笛的叶子
发出沉重的喘息，像一头犁荒的牛。父亲的
怨怒从车厢后升起，风中游动鞭子。母亲的
眼神暗淡，浮出车窗，秋风中就要熄灭的翅膀.
呵，一列火车的穿越，脱下多少季节的衣服，多少
时光的叶片甩在身后。多少次，我被这强劲的河流
冲击，滋生遗落的梦境 。多少次，我坐在痛苦的
双轨上，等待毁灭的撞击。它从我身上无情碾过，我有
坚硬的骨头。呵，一辆火车的穿越，就像大地突然
跳出来的闪电。它击弯了父亲的身体。有时，它像
一只缓慢的青虫，咬噬我树叶的心，留下无数伤口

In fact, the train has been through. From the Songliao earth
To the Shandong Peninsula. Twenty years ago the bitterness of the morning
Dusk now old. From the depths of the growth of a flood
Sugar cane, kept jointing to start fresh leaves of siren
Issued by the heavy breathing, like a plow shortage of cattle. Father
Yuannu, after rising from the car, the wind whips in swimming. Mothers
Eyes dim, leak out the window, autumn they should be out of wings.
Oh, a train crossing, the number of off season clothes, the number of
Time leaves behind. How many times, I was this strong river
The impact of breeding fall out of the dream. How many times, I sat in pain
Double-track, waiting to destroy the impact. Ruthlessly run over it from me, I have a
Hard bones. Oh, a train crossing, just as the earth suddenly
Jump out of the lightning. It hit, bent over his father's body. Sometimes, it is like
A slow caterpillar, Yao Shi leaves my heart, leaving countless wounds


2。
Yes, the train is running. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula.
From the suffering morning of 20 years ago
until this old dusk.
It is ever growing sugarcane,
stretching with leaves
of whistles and gasping for breath like a plowing cow.
My father's temper arose from the back of the train, with a whip waving in wind.
My mother's eyes dimmed in the dark,
floating out of the window, like wings of candle
dying out in autumn winds.
Yeah, a train passed through, unclothing so many seasons,
and leaving behind countless leaves.
So many times, I was striken by this powerful river, dreaming lost dreams.

So many times, I sat on the rail, awaiting a death of collision.
It ran over me, but I have strong bones.
Oh, a passing train is like a lightning our of the ground.
It bowed my father's back.
some times, it is like a worm,
biting into the hearts of leaves, leaving behind so many wounds.

是的，火车正在运行。从松辽高原
在胶东半岛。
从20年前的痛苦上午
直到这个旧的黄昏。
这是日益增长的甘蔗，
用树叶伸展
的口哨声和喘气如牛犁地呼吸。
我父亲的脾气产生从火车回，并在风能挥舞着鞭子。
我母亲的眼睛在黑暗中暗淡，
浮动窗外，像蜡烛的翅膀
死在秋风。
是啊，一列火车通过，unclothing这么多的季节，
并留下无数的树叶。
所以很多次，我striken这个强大的河流，梦失去的梦想。

所以很多次，我坐在铁路，等待碰撞死亡。
它辗过我，但我有强壮的骨骼。
哦，路过的列车就像闪电我们的理由。
它鞠了一躬我父亲的回来。
有些时候，简直是一种蠕虫病毒，
叶片咬成的心，留下这么多的伤口离开。

3。
A Train

It keeps on going. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula. From 20 years ago's bitter morning
to this dim dusk. From deep water, a sugarcane
coughs out its hopeful leaves, like an ox plowing a wasteland.
Father's resenting look appears from the back of wagon
with a whip in the wind. Mother's gloomy eyes
glaze out of the window, like wings of light
distinguished in an autumn wind. A train!
The time passes like a train. It has taken away so many seasons,
leaving leaves of hope behind. Numerous times, I was striken by
torrents, tossed in my dreams. I rode on rails, awaiting
a dreadful collision. Ruthlessly, it ran over me,
over my unyielding bones. A train has the power of lightning.
It strikes down my father. Occasionally, it slowes down
like a worn, biting into old memories, left behind
only wounds

火车

它持续不断。从松辽高原
在胶东半岛。从20年前的惨痛上午
这暗淡的黄昏。从深层水，甘蔗
其希望叶子咳嗽，像牛耕一荒地。
父亲的愤恨看似乎从大篷车
与风中的鞭子。母亲的眼睛黯淡
釉窗外，像光翅膀
杰出的秋风。一辆火车！
在时间的推移，像一列火车。它夺去这么多的季节，
离开后留下的希望。无数次，我是由striken
种子，扔在我的梦想。我骑在轨，等待
一个可怕的碰撞。无情的，它跑了我，
在我的不屈不挠的骨头。阿列火车，以闪电的权力。
它打击了我的父亲。有时，slowes下降
就像一个破旧，把旧的记忆留下，咬
只有伤口

[白水]

hi, peace

the teacher(she is a poet)checked the poems, and she said both of them are good.she modified a little.

《The Train》

作者：YANG HAIJUN
翻译：白水Moonlight、 和平岛
Yes, the train is running. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula.
From the suffering morning of 20 years ago
until this old dusk.
It is ever growing sugarcane,
stretching with leaves
of whistles and gasping for breath like a plowing cow.
My father's temper arose from the back of the train, with a whip waving in the wind.
My mother's eyes dimmed in the dark,
floating out of the window, like the wings of a candle
dying out in autumn winds.
Yeah, a train passed through, unclothing so many seasons,
and leaving behind countless leaves.
So many times, I was struck by this powerful river, dreaming lost dreams.

So many times, I sat on the rail, awaiting a death of collision.
It ran over me, but I have strong bones.
Oh, a passing train is like a lightning out of the ground.
It bowed my father's back.
some times, it is like a worm,
biting into the hearts of leaves, leaving behind so many wounds.

and this sentence:" like the wings of a candle", she told me that a English speaker maybe say:"wings flames", but it is good in a poem ,due to poems need different images and words. that is interesting

[白水]

A Train

It keeps on going. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula. From 20 years ago's bitter morning(she suggests to rewrite it )
to this dim dusk. From deep water, a sugarcane
coughs out its hopeful leaves, like an ox plowing a wasteland.
Father's resenting look appears from the back of wagon
with a whip in the wind. Mother's gloomy eyes
glaze out of the window, like wings of light
distinguished in an autumn wind. A train!
The time passes like a train. It has taken away so many seasons,
leaving leaves of hope behind. Numerous times, I was striken by
torrents, tossed in my dreams. I rode on rails, awaiting
a dreadful collision. Ruthlessly, it ran over me,
over my unyielding bones. A train has the power of lightning.
It strikes down my father. Occasionally, it slows down
like a worn, biting into old memories, left behind
only wounds

[hepingdao]

a 16 year old college guy
23 Year old Port Neches Man


From the bitter morning of 20 years ago
_________________
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[hepingdao]

A Train

It keeps on going. From the Songliao plateau
to the Jiaodong Peninsula. From the bitter morning of two decades ago
to this dim dusk. From deep water, a sugarcane
coughs out its hopeful leaves, like an ox plowing a wasteland.
Father's resenting look appears from the back of wagon
with a whip in the wind. Mother's gloomy eyes
glaze out of the window, like wings of light
distinguished in an autumn wind. A train!
The time passes like a train. It has taken away so many seasons,
leaving leaves of hope behind. Numerous times, I was striken by
torrents, tossed in my dreams. I rode on rails, awaiting
a dreadful collision. Ruthlessly, it ran over me,
over my unyielding bones. A train has the power of lightning.
It strikes down my father. Occasionally, it slows down
like a worn, biting into old memories, left behind
only wounds
_________________
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