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投稿几首,请批
为萧云
童生


Joined: 22 Aug 2009
Posts: 44

为萧云Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-29 22:21:38    Post subject: 投稿几首,请批 Reply with quote

七绝 夜曲九首

寒风陡峭抖衾衣,
路上行人渐渐稀。
大道枯灯孤独照,
钟声远荡透禅机。

风高路远倍思伊,
不解为何泪决堤。
望眼欲穿人影瘦,
荒郊野外觅归期。

遥思昔日共骑驴,
转眼分离三载余。
又是一宵明月夜,
伊人独自守寒居。

寒风远去夜无涯,
倦意沉沉忽嗅花。
觅径寻香香尽处,
又闻山谷奏琵琶。

临水楼台月影圆,
闲欢美景夜无眠。
吟诗作赋生神韵,
敢于清风论圣贤。

一轮明月照寒窗,
素女凝神正望江。
滚滚红尘船两岸,
无人横渡怎成双。

烛火残明瘦弱身,
隔江遥望故乡人.
数年漂泊无归所,
满腹相思又进春。

一片云霞醉酒盅,
漂浮江海脸通红。
卧床沉睡酣声起,
引出西山一钓翁.

花间独饮亦风流,
月隐残明似更幽.
把酒高歌和影舞,
闲情还有几春秋.

为萧云(1990-)真名:魏晓运,性别:男,民族:汉。湖北随州人

08年开始诗歌交流,09年接受网络开始诗歌创作,作品散见《天下诗报》《诗文杂志》《情诗季邗》《乡风诗邗》《中国诗歌在线》《思念的夜晚》《优秀华语诗人》《桥研之歌精品选》《格律体新诗》《原野》等邗物。现在众多论坛活跃,并担任很多论坛的版主和编辑。
魏小运
441326
湖北省随州市曾都区淅河镇魏家老湾村十二组
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-29 22:46:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

既婉约 --- " 无人横渡怎成双 " ;
且丰情 --- " 花间独饮亦风流 " !
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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米运刚
秀才


Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Posts: 918
Location: 四川省德阳市
米运刚Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-30 08:07:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

有妙句,有深情,但有些句子略嫌平了些。
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection
PostPosted: 2009-11-30 08:55:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

米运刚 wrote:
有妙句,有深情,但有些句子略嫌平了些。


与米兄同感。
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