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散文诗两章
杜洪涛
秀才


Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 101

杜洪涛Collection
PostPosted: 2009-10-08 14:54:44    Post subject: 散文诗两章 Reply with quote

40

我家的老宅院里有三棵杨槐树呢,还是四棵?哥哥说三我说四。
我去拜访朋友,一起吃了便饭,饭桌上全是家乡的口味,——我们从同一个地方漂泊而来。
说到杨槐花,大家兴致勃勃:五月的花最好,初开的花朵,和上面粉,蒸一蒸或煎一煎。
朋友告诉我,他家的老屋前就有一棵。我自豪的说,我家的老宅院里可有四棵呢,五月一到邻居们就过来了。
镰刀绑在竹竿上,来晚的人只能把梯子搭在树上,或者到我家的屋面上去打了,不然够不着啦。
回来的时候,朋友硬把不多的晒干的杨槐花分给我一些。在这乡外之城,新鲜的杨槐花吃不到啦,只能吃这些晒干的啦。
哥哥问我哪来的杨槐花,我如实以告。他说,咱家的院子里什么时候又多了一棵。我连忙辩解,那是口误。

41

我有一个要好的伙伴,小的时候,我把他的家当成我的家,把我的不同的玩具放在他家不同的抽屉里。每天我都要来回打开抽屉,拿东西和放东西。
他的妈妈是一个好妈妈,我称呼她为二奶奶,但她的儿子我却直呼其名。我问自己的妈妈,咱家的辈分为啥这样低。后来我明白了妈妈的话,低了好呀,我们家人丁兴旺。
我的伙伴,他家院子里有一个宝贝疙瘩——那棵枣树的年龄比我们还大,碗口粗,主干却不高,我们一伸胳膊脚一蹬地就窜上去了。但树冠却很大很茂盛,足足遮住了半个院子的阳光。
八月份的时候,枣子已经很大了。我和伙伴趁他爸妈上地的时候,用竹竿打枣,没有竹竿的小伙伴们就一起抱住那棵树使劲的摇晃。枣子很大,可没有一个熟的。
我们觉得没劲,把地上的树叶和青枣捡起来,扔进他家的羊圈里,掩藏痕迹,然后去玩别的。但是他家的羊儿常常泄露我们的秘密,它不吃青枣也就算啦,树叶也不吃干净些。
每一个早晨醒来,我们都觉得昨天没有熟透的枣,今天肯定熟透了。
太阳每天重复起落,我们也没在意,但青枣有变红的啦,我们注意到啦,我们高兴坏了。但我们发现已经没有多少枣子可以变红了,我们也不容易够着打了。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-10 19:08:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

感觉散文诗的语言要跳跃些诗意些。两篇都太写实了。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-10 19:11:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

感觉散文诗的语言要跳跃些诗意些。两篇都太写实了。
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