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不灭的路灯
何君华
童生


Joined: 25 Feb 2009
Posts: 61
Location: 中国内蒙古
何君华Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-09 14:22:46    Post subject: 不灭的路灯 Reply with quote

不灭的路灯



2007年夏天,我还在县城上高三。从我家到三中需要拐三条街道,其中一条街路面坑坑洼洼,路边又没有路灯,每晚高三的同学补课结束放学回家时没少跌倒的。大家抱怨声不断,却一直没得到学校解决。

一个月后,一位老大爷在路边支了个早点摊。令同学们感到奇怪的是,每晚八点老大爷就收摊了,一直到次日早上六点才重新开摊,可是他摊上的灯光却彻夜不灭。终于有一次我们忍不住问他为什么不熄灯时,他说:“高三的孩子们每晚九点半才下课,早上五点多又要来学校上晨读课,路况不好,同学们骑车时容易跌倒,我亮着灯,多少有点帮助吧。”一席话让我们感动不已,大家心想老大爷支个摊子生活不容易,每个月还要白白多掏几十块钱电费,我们几个商量着联系一下高三各班的班长,这笔钱用班费来支付。可是我们的心意却被老大爷拒绝了。他说:“我也有一个孙女儿在上高中呢,我还心疼她跌伤了呢。不用不用,这点小钱,就当是我支援国家的教育事业吧。”说完老大爷乐呵呵地笑起来,笑容亲切而温暖。

让大家没想到的是,老大爷免费为高三的同学彻夜亮灯的事在同学们中间越传越开。大家被老大爷的好心肠感动之余,都不约而同地到老大爷的摊上吃早点,哪怕因为人多要排队,大家也愿意多等一会儿。就这样,老大爷每个月增加了几百块收入。

点亮一盏灯,岂止是照亮了别人,更照亮了自己。
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何君华
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-10 03:25:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

如果能抓住细节,对老大爷多着笔墨,会更感人!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-10 13:09:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

荷梦君的意见是对的。我们现在要写“文学作品”,要有细节、情节、人物要生动,内心要表现,还要有主观感受、感想。不能太笼统、简略。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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何君华
童生


Joined: 25 Feb 2009
Posts: 61
Location: 中国内蒙古
何君华Collection
PostPosted: 2009-10-01 15:18:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

接受以上两位老师的意见,多谢批评,一定继续努力!
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何君华
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