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[原创]师出无名
朱雀公
童生


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

朱雀公Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-22 19:23:36    Post subject: [原创]师出无名 Reply with quote
风又把一叶夏天
像烟灰样弹落到地上
这个不太友好的举动
使一些鸟愤然出走

鸣蝉退散后鸟巢羞于裸露
风声趋紧却凉得暧昧
秋已经站在高处
很轻易就摸到冬的衣领

你不及领会和准备
其实就已经开始了
前一碗水还没有端平
第二碗水又递到手上

那些往昔我打着口哨
经过喜鹊的声门
后来的说法有点添油加醋
你说想再喂一次奶

日子又被诱到个深刻的坎边
想想没有哪个季节可能坚守
我们像一对异乡的蚂蚁
仍就从容在季节里进出
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-24 14:32:09    Post subject: Reply with quote
问好！

有韵味
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-24 16:23:00    Post subject: Reply with quote
日子又被诱到个深刻的坎边
想想没有哪个季节可能坚守
我们像一对异乡的蚂蚁
仍就从容在季节里进出

结尾提升不错~问好老乡！
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朱雀公
童生


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

朱雀公Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-25 15:12:54    Post subject: Reply with quote
迪拜 wrote:
问好！

有韵味
问好迪拜！
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朱雀公
童生


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

朱雀公Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-25 15:15:21    Post subject: Reply with quote
半溪明月 wrote:
日子又被诱到个深刻的坎边
...


谢谢老乡高评。 Laughing
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-26 16:55:18    Post subject: Reply with quote
已读~问好~
_________________
如果不开始，会失去过程。
QQ：3972083
微信：qisebaihuayuan
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朱雀公
童生


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

朱雀公Collection
PostPosted: 2009-10-09 15:07:48    Post subject: Reply with quote
安红红 wrote:
已读~问好~

问好安版！
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