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找不到他們的足跡─記莫拉克颱風
劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-28 17:47:28    Post subject: 找不到他們的足跡─記莫拉克颱風 Reply with quote

他們剛從我眼前走過
但沒有留下足跡
我也不知道他們去了哪

父親走在路上
床也走在路上
房子也站起來走
橋也走在路上

當所有都走後,路
也捲起褲管


他們的足跡
泡在水裡
會不會變成一隻隻快樂的魚?

我決定不再流淚了
水面已漫過胸膛
漫過我哀傷所能負荷的吃水線
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-28 18:14:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

--代转简体版--

他们刚从我眼前走过
但没有留下足迹
我也不知道他们去了哪

父亲走在路上
床也走在路上
房子也站起来走
桥也走在路上

当所有都走后,路
也卷起裤管


他们的足迹
泡在水里
会不会变成一只只快乐的鱼?

我决定不再流泪了
水面已漫过胸膛
漫过我哀伤所能负荷的吃水线

--



嗯。
一起為台灣的朋友祝福。
希望災後重建平安順利。
舊金山的華語電視上周末
也為賑災募款。祈福。

金雄兄的詩形象生動,
用語返璞歸真常發人深思,
寓言短詩能啟人感悟,
是台灣近兩年新起詩人中
我非常喜歡的一位,
也是值得學習的一位溫文詩人。
相信北美的讀者會同我一樣,
慢慢產生一種’發現詩人’的喜悅。

歡迎來北美楓與大家交流。
_________________
(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-29 11:57:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

他們的足跡
泡在水裡
會不會變成一隻隻快樂的魚?

我決定不再流淚了
水面已漫過胸膛
漫過我哀傷所能負荷的吃水線

感人的诗行。为灾区的同胞祝福
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection
PostPosted: 2009-08-29 14:45:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

台风无情,人间有爱。
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-29 15:26:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

表达的酣畅淋漓,非常欣赏。
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-29 15:34:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

举重若轻!严重欣赏!
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-29 16:26:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=23924
稍稍详细的点评。
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-29 19:38:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

写得好~一层层往深处剥~最后一段收回到自已身上~~感人~~
问好~~

为同胞祈福~~
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如果不开始,会失去过程。
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微信:qisebaihuayuan
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-01 15:15:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
--代转简体版--
...


博奕兄:

感謝讀詩並領我進北美楓
這是一個蓬勃的論壇
給我更多讀詩寫詩的版面

金雄問好!
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-01 15:17:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
他們的足跡
...


白水Moonlight:

感謝讀詩!
剛加入論壇,如有不妥之處請多多予以指教

金雄問好!
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-01 15:20:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
台风无情,人间有爱。


ginghongh:

感謝讀詩!

颱風年年發生,這次莫拉克災情比較慘重
而我能做的又太少

金雄問好!
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-01 15:26:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

杯中冲浪 wrote:
表达的酣畅淋漓,非常欣赏。


杯中衝浪版主:

感謝精闢的詩評
在版面上看到你對許多作品都有深度的解析評論
對你的投入至為感動

請多多予以指教

新同學金雄問好!
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