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<<缝缝补补>>
湮雨朦朦
秀才


Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-10 01:09:53    Post subject: <<缝缝补补>> Reply with quote

1.<<缝缝补补>>

拆洗着你的眼神 一个无毒的黄昏
这辗转地氤氲 风是响亮地长鞭
浓缩的针线 路过暮童的清晨
缝一缝陈旧的微笑 别惊醒打更人

你送出红唇的裂纹 我黑色的发丝
荆棘丛生
一把茉莉就开了春 脉络的尽头是红枫
素不相识的陌生

六月的流水 七月的高温
八月的蟋蟀们
我志同道合的飞跃 擎住
你的喜悦 缝缝补补又一春


2.<<最后一行是爱情>>

穿过北纬
张着蓝地白色 翻越一道岭
一直向北 被淹没的十字 在一个早春诉说着信仰

南边的火车和铁轨
在季节的车厢相互迤逶 一行是爱情
一行是风和日丽在雷电交加时刻美丽的垂危

就此放飞吧 正午魁梧的身姿
一边是刺目的碎阳光
一边是白花花的芦苇荡

此起彼伏的城市鸟鸣在燕子和一只大鸟的身影里
写下最后一行爱情


3.<<一朵花的手语>>

仿佛九零年的风 沙哑
静止流动 红色暗涌
一片片落在寂静的枝头
这朵花 遗落在蝉的身后
给七月 镶嵌一道青色的花边
弥漫的香 沉浸着炎热
我沿着夜色 嗅弯水里的月
一只高跟鞋
踏入尾声 花的手语
遥遥无期


4.<<一片枯叶正在>>

时光的最后一片叶 越过
苍穹
可我却 在本世纪末 找寻
清晰的脉络
厚重的画外音站在老屋 门前的黑
还有黎明的光暑
风吹草动 枯叶卷入一个好听的龙卷风
死亡 飞翔 珠穆郎马峰
忠实的泪 我重整来时的路
七色花 萌芽着废墟的荒芜
阿尔卑斯敲响古老的时钟 枯叶
便 沉浸在
优美的 崎岖的 孤独


5.<<这样的日子在六月里想起>>

一条有些褶皱的长裙 暗花四起
山的腹地 清澈的鸟语
此时花香淹没在裸露的小径
六月 用力一吸
松果 褐色的松果 躺了一地
那片坡 犹如理发师的云梯
疯长的野草 流淌着以前的 夜间的气息


欢快的步伐 系着蝴蝶结的情绪
炎热 后背湿润的汗滴
多情的一天总是记忆犹新
栀子 眨着眼睛
铁轨 搭起时尚 消失在第六棵树旁
这样的日子 在六月里 重叠 激荡
旁若无人地香
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2009-08-10 02:07:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

自如,温馨
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
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Location: 江西省南昌市
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PostPosted: 2009-08-24 06:12:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
自如,温馨


谢白水诗人赏读,远握.
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2009-08-24 06:28:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

堆砌. 這樣的詩, 不寫也罷!
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-24 16:18:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
堆砌. 這樣的詩, 不寫也罷!


是吗?自作聪明.
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白水
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PostPosted: 2009-08-24 17:23:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy 临屏一游

博弈汉界逢淑女
楚河湮雨两朦朦
车马倾巢邀将相
举杯烈酒约新朋


开溜 Very Happy Very Happy
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2009-08-24 18:34:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水言語來走棋
漢卿下車喚阿妹
詩文煙朦階前戚
楚地馬弈酒上買

Wink
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2009-08-24 20:11:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

湮雨朦朦 wrote:
博弈 wrote:
堆砌. 這樣的詩, 不寫也罷!


是吗?自作聪明.


太直了点,女孩子不好承受,你也真是的。
“可是,我是对自己说的啊,告诉自己别学这么写诗。”
你看看,这话更糟。
“那要怎么说好?”

其实,在这里挨骂不是坏事,有人肯骂是福气。
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白水
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PostPosted: 2009-08-25 16:26:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

湮雨mm, 用你的朦朦细雨懵他一盘 Wink
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2009-08-25 20:01:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

从语言到内容,都透露出人生画卷徐徐初展的那种纯真,惊喜,期盼。令人羡慕 Very Happy
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
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Location: 江西省南昌市
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PostPosted: 2009-08-27 00:08:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
Very Happy Very Happy 临屏一游
...


还是白大美女诗人主持公道,thanks.
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-27 00:13:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
白水言語來走棋
...


一言惊了我湮雨
博弈留话有非意
白水挥动马和车
分不清是泪和雨 Surprised
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-27 00:16:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
湮雨朦朦 wrote:
博弈 wrote:
堆砌. 這樣的詩, 不寫也罷!


是吗?自作聪明.


太直了点,女孩子不好承受,你也真是的。
...


哦,那就是说我的福气来了咯?我只欢迎真诚的朋友.
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湮雨朦朦
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Location: 江西省南昌市
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PostPosted: 2009-08-27 00:18:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
从语言到内容,都透露出人生画卷徐徐初展的那种纯真,惊喜,期盼。令人羡慕 Very Happy


真诚的朋友,远握.
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2009-08-28 05:29:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

真诚地说两句:
1。得把语言象与意象的联系研究一下。
2。写新诗得把‘的’字(定语)写好了才算入了门。

其他的毛病在这两样弄清后,自己就看出来了。
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zmj166
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PostPosted: 2009-10-16 02:31:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢你的表达手法,喜欢你的诗!
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
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PostPosted: 2009-10-17 14:22:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
真诚地说两句:
...


谢谢.
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
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PostPosted: 2009-10-17 14:24:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

zmj166 wrote:
喜欢你的表达手法,喜欢你的诗!



Very Happy 朋友,你好.很高兴能阅读湮雨的诗歌,我要真诚地说一声谢谢.
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