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顾健诗歌3首【80后诗歌】
顾健
童生


Joined: 09 Aug 2009
Posts: 3

顾健Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-09 02:13:44    Post subject: 顾健诗歌3首【80后诗歌】 Reply with quote

1、《汪洋之水》
  
从电脑的桌面开始,比如一张图片
时间:2009年3月
地点:云南大理
人物:我和她

故事当然顺其自然,洱海和苍山
也在眉间呼吸,我爱你,真的
你的好名字
我爱你,以及靠近指尖的色彩
真的,就像你枕在我的大腿上
均匀呼吸

小米香气的女人
柔软银色的花,有些对比里的
暗红与纯白
你肩膀上黑色的痣,当然
还有,可以吻碎的月光和梦

这样,那就让我们开花吧
漫山遍野姹紫嫣红
这样,那就让我们解冻
我的皮肤和我的骨头,我的眼神和我的手指
都会深深潜入

2、《自然之书》
  
你熟睡的姿势总是这样,
卷曲并且羞涩
你的拥抱恰如树叶,鼻息宁静

你曾经吻着我
无畏地打开骨盆歌唱
你的抚摩总是轻快,我想唱出来

这个清晨,我试图仔细聆听
我的亲吻与仰望,贴在你胸前柔软里的声音
都是天籁,都是我的无法抗拒

是的,我是个信徒
我的伫立,将成为你唯一的树

3、《正午》

这样一个正午,梦里半睡半醒
依稀中
房门来回自主地开关
咔咔,咔咔……如此反复

你眯着眼睛,站在镜子前
用带静电的梳子梳理头发
你反复端详自己,你的脸两面背光
你也在反复开关

天空是瓦蓝瓦蓝的,还有飞鸟
还有死盯不放的眼睛
很想拿把刀捅破薄薄的天空
让偷窥者瞪大的眼睛流血

我就是这样咳嗽起来的
阳光软绵绵的,有点微凉
缓缓地从我的领口侵入[/quote]
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-09 03:01:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错,觉得思想性很好!!!语言也不错
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-09 21:48:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

写得美好~~是由图片幻想出来还是把生活场景拍出再描述~~都有现场感~~

问好~
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如果不开始,会失去过程。
QQ:3972083
微信:qisebaihuayuan
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顾健
童生


Joined: 09 Aug 2009
Posts: 3

顾健Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-10 02:18:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

:)谢谢两位老师的喜欢
_________________
曾用笔名许也、糖醋鱼、米错;通联地址:江西省永新县社保局(343400)
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陈若祥
秀才


Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-10 02:27:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

流畅而清新的语言,很有味道!
_________________
¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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顾健
童生


Joined: 09 Aug 2009
Posts: 3

顾健Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-11 04:20:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢各位点评,我会继续努力
_________________
曾用笔名许也、糖醋鱼、米错;通联地址:江西省永新县社保局(343400)
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