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《美的虚伪或残缺》三首1[2]  Next
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-05 21:12:38    Post subject: 《美的虚伪或残缺》三首 Reply with quote

《美的虚伪或残缺》


一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。




《虚热是一种夏季的病》

一口锅的打翻
不同于一瓶醋的打翻。
醋已风干,而感冒依旧
发烧依旧。脾胃虚弱依旧。

沸腾的天气,装有滚烫的白云
装有昔日的醪糟起子。
发酵并气喘
体内有昨天的毒,患着热伤风。




《隐秘的森林》

有踪迹,无人影
有存留,而无人知。

林子大了,藏得下所有鸟
几只白兔仿佛煮熟的饺子。

没有起锅的饺子
红着眼睛怯怯地跳。

要盛赞它们的皮毛纯净
要长成蘑菇,并喂养它们
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-05 21:25:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。
....见真,见性的作品,欣赏,精华.
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袁春春
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 15

袁春春Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-05 21:51:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

《美的虚伪或残缺》


一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。




《虚热是一种夏季的病》

一口锅的打翻
不同于一瓶醋的打翻。
醋已风干,而感冒依旧
发烧依旧。脾胃虚弱依旧。

沸腾的天气,装有滚烫的白云
装有昔日的醪糟起子。
发酵并气喘
体内有昨天的毒,患着热伤风。


真的喜欢!
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湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-05 22:00:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

《美的虚伪或残缺》


一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2009-08-06 01:41:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

很圆熟从容流畅的感觉,学习。
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-06 02:35:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

《虚热是一种夏季的病》

一口锅的打翻
不同于一瓶醋的打翻。
醋已风干,而感冒依旧
发烧依旧。脾胃虚弱依旧。

沸腾的天气,装有滚烫的白云
装有昔日的醪糟起子。
发酵并气喘
体内有昨天的毒,患着热伤风。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-06 11:37:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

《美的虚伪或残缺》


一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。

一人一个写作风格 Very Happy
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-06 14:02:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

让我一眼看得懂,再眼看不懂的文字。
这里看出明月的功底了。好诗!!
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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江南雨
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Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 627
Location: 中国陕西省
江南雨Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-06 23:17:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

很圆熟从容流畅的感觉,学习。
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陕西姜华
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山桃花
童生


Joined: 16 May 2009
Posts: 81

山桃花Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-06 23:51:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

最喜第三个,含蓄而不失轻灵,一种隐忍,一种俏皮
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骨笛
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Joined: 03 Jan 2009
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骨笛Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-07 00:31:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

干净流畅。耐品。。。
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一品红
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Joined: 13 Jun 2009
Posts: 330

一品红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-07 04:08:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢的诗歌,问好.
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中国山东,女诗人
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-07 12:06:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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江南雨
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Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 627
Location: 中国陕西省
江南雨Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-07 22:27:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。

一人一个写作风格
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陕西姜华
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Holybolt
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Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 110
Location: China
HolyboltCollection
PostPosted: 2009-08-09 00:14:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

super man
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-09 17:42:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

《美的虚伪或残缺》


一首诗被反复修改:
先砍掉所有的刺,再磨圆所有棱角
然后剪掉暴露太多心迹的枝条。
最后,你所看到的一种美:
既朦胧又单薄
美得多么虚伪,美得莫名其妙。


精短深刻~~喜欢~~
问好明月~
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江南雨
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Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 627
Location: 中国陕西省
江南雨Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-09 18:53:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

含蓄而不失轻灵,一种隐忍,一种俏皮
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-11 22:29:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

给明月提一个建议

因为《北美枫》第5期是你排版

有一个问题:

使用的“图案的底色”太重,印刷后颜色太深

导致很多诗歌看不清楚。

刚好想到,怕以后忘记,

就直接说了

还请谅解。
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文立冰
童生


Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 71

文立冰Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-12 03:16:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

短而精巧,
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李宏
童生


Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection
PostPosted: 2009-08-12 18:46:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习精华
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