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脚的自夸
上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-25 17:30:15    Post subject: 脚的自夸 Reply with quote

漫长的季节呀
悄悄探出10个脚丫
挣脱出的初夏么,又是什么的呼吸
枝叶繁茂的上空呀,我说:
“幸远的脚呀,请你歇一歇
在这块石头上停停,为给你荫凉”


好个“香港客”,自夸的脚呀
微风来助臂,我要吹散我的卑微
让世界布满我的苦难,自夸的脚呀
为何将众人都薰倒;你不见:
年轻的基督为彼埃尔洗脚


哦,神奇的脚呀
你怎么日夜不息
骄傲地奔到汶川
就形容枯槁
万物萧条
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每个诗人都很重要
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-25 20:16:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢这个风格,前两段;第三段作结,不美。还真那个神奇的脚呀!
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可情可理,去捧就真
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李有明
秀才


Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 310

李有明Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-26 12:03:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好,写的奇特!
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红袖添乱
秀才


Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-29 18:52:42    Post subject: 上城想晕我们啦? Reply with quote

上城 wrote:
漫长的季节呀
...

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梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。
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